Write about the following topic: It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

What this means:

The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas is occasionally disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear transitions. To improve coherence, the writer could use more cohesive devices and ensure that each paragraph logically follows from the previous one. For example, using phrases like 'on the other hand' or 'in contrast' could enhance the clarity of the argument.

How to improve:

• Use a clear paragraph structure
• Connect ideas with appropriate linking words
• Maintain logical progression
• Use referencing effectively

What this means:

The essay contains several grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues and incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'is believe' should be 'is believed', 'allow person' should be 'allows a person'). While the writer attempts to use complex sentences, the frequent errors detract from the overall clarity. To improve, the writer should focus on sentence structure and ensure grammatical accuracy, perhaps by proofreading their work before submission.

How to improve:

• Use complex sentence structures
• Maintain grammatical accuracy
• Use a variety of sentence patterns
• Check for common grammar errors

What this means:

The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are several instances of incorrect word forms and spelling errors (e.g., 'person' should be 'people', 'opportunitys' should be 'opportunities', 'bean' should be 'being'). The writer demonstrates some range in vocabulary, but to achieve a higher score, they should aim for more precise word choices and avoid repetition. Incorporating synonyms and varied expressions would enhance the lexical resource.

How to improve:

• Use a wider range of vocabulary
• Demonstrate awareness of collocations
• Avoid word repetition
• Use more sophisticated vocabulary accurately

What this means:

The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of taking risks. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited, and the position could be clearer. For improvement, the writer should provide more specific examples and elaborate on the points made. For instance, discussing a personal experience or a well-known case could strengthen the argument.

How to improve:

• Address all parts of the task fully
• Support ideas with specific examples
• Develop each point thoroughly
• Stay relevant to the topic