Write about the following topic: Plastic bags, plastic bottles and plastic packaging are bad for the environment. What damage does plastic do to the environment? What can be done by governments and individuals to solve this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Sample Essay with Corrections
Expert Feedback
The essay effectively addresses the topic of plastic pollution, discussing its negative effects and potential solutions from both governments and individuals. Key strengths include a clear structure with distinct paragraphs for each main point and a relevant conclusion. However, critical areas for improvement include the need for more specific examples and smoother transitions between ideas. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving sentence clarity, and enhancing the flow of ideas. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include varying vocabulary to avoid repetition and providing more detailed examples of initiatives taken by specific countries. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and informative style throughout.
Detailed Scores
What this means:
The essay generally follows a logical structure, with clear paragraphs for each main point. However, some transitions between ideas could be smoother. For example, the transition from discussing the problems of plastic to the solutions could be more explicit to enhance the flow of the essay.
How to improve:
- Use a clear paragraph structure
- Connect ideas with appropriate linking words
- Maintain logical progression
- Use referencing effectively
What this means:
The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, but there are several grammatical errors and awkward constructions (e.g., 'One of the main problems with plastic it is that...'). These errors affect clarity and accuracy. Improving sentence structure and proofreading for grammatical mistakes would enhance the overall quality.
How to improve:
- Use complex sentence structures
- Maintain grammatical accuracy
- Use a variety of sentence patterns
- Check for common grammar errors
What this means:
The vocabulary used is appropriate for the topic, but there are instances of repetition (e.g., 'plastic' is used frequently). Additionally, there are some spelling errors (e.g., 'bottels', 'plalstic', 'singel-use', 'reducnig', 'contarners', 'managament', 'solution') that detract from the overall quality. Using synonyms or more varied vocabulary could improve this score.
How to improve:
- Use a wider range of vocabulary
- Demonstrate awareness of collocations
- Avoid word repetition
- Use more sophisticated vocabulary accurately
What this means:
The essay addresses the topic of plastic pollution and discusses its negative effects on the environment, as well as potential solutions from both governments and individuals. However, the response could be improved by providing more specific examples and a clearer structure. For instance, mentioning specific countries or initiatives could strengthen the argument.
How to improve:
- Address all parts of the task fully
- Support ideas with specific examples
- Develop each point thoroughly
- Stay relevant to the topic
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