Write about the following topic: The number of people studying art, languages and creative writing often falls during difficult economic times. What do you think are the effects of this trend? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

Part 2
6.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

During hard times that arin the economy, the number of preople who are studying art, languages, and creative writing are often redusingces. I think that this trend haves several naegative consequences on society and culture. To start, when fewer students are choose to study arts, languages, and creative writing, it can be lead to a shortage of skilled workhanders in these areas. Without enough talented artists, writers, and linguistics, our culture may lose its diversification and richness. For example, if all people choose to study engineering or business instead of arts, we may also have a lack of new books, music, and paintings. This could result in a less vibrant and innovative society. O Another effect of this tendency is that it may limitate people's personal development and growth. Studying arts and humanities helps cultivate crieativity, critical thinking, and cultureal understanding. Without these skills, people may not be as able to effectively communicate, solve problemes creatively, or appretciate other cultures. For instance, if all people focus only on technical skills andwhile ignoring soft skills like communication or creativity, they may fouind it harder to collaborate with others or come up with original ideeas. Furthermore, this trend can also lead to sociatol imbalance. If onley wealthy peoples can afford to study arts and humanities, while low-income students isare forced to choose more "practical" fields, it can widen the gap between rich and poor. This could be exacerbate social inequallity and limit social mobility. For example, if childrens from disadvantaged backgrounds do not have the opportunity to pursue their passions in arts or writing, they may fouind it harder to achieve success and fulfillment in life. In conclusion, the declining number of people studying arts, langauages, and creative writing during economic hard times can hasve serious consequences for sosciety. It can lead to a lack of creative talent, limited personal developement, and increased social inequalities. To mitigate these effects, it is important to value and support arts and humanities education, even in challenging economyic times. This can help ensure that our society remains diverse, innovative, and equitable.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the negative consequences of declining interest in arts, languages, and creative writing during economic downturns. Key strengths include a clear position and relevant examples that support the main ideas. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, spelling, and the use of cohesive devices to enhance the flow of ideas. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving spelling, and enhancing transitions between paragraphs. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include incorporating more specific examples and varying sentence structures to demonstrate greater grammatical range. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and analytical style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay generally follows a logical structure, with clear paragraphs for each main point. However, some transitions between ideas could be smoother, and the use of cohesive devices is somewhat limited. For example, using phrases like 'Moreover' or 'In addition' could enhance the flow of ideas.
6.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay demonstrates some grammatical range, but there are numerous errors in subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'fewer students are choose'), verb forms (e.g., 'can be lead'), and sentence structure. These errors affect clarity and accuracy. To improve, the writer should focus on grammatical accuracy and vary sentence structures more effectively.
5.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is adequate but contains several spelling errors (e.g., 'prople', 'redusing', 'nagative', 'limititate', 'criativity', 'sociatol', 'inequallity'). While there are attempts at using varied vocabulary, the frequent errors detract from the overall effectiveness. To improve, the writer should proofread for spelling and consider using more sophisticated synonyms.
5.5
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt by discussing the effects of declining interest in arts, languages, and creative writing during economic downturns. It presents a clear position and develops main ideas with relevant examples. However, the argument could be strengthened with more specific examples and a clearer structure in the introduction and conclusion.
6.5

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