Write an academic essay on the topic: "My English Knowledge"
Sample Essay with Corrections
Expert Feedback
The essay demonstrates a personal reflection on the writer's journey in learning English, which is a key strength. The structure has been improved by clearly separating the content into distinct paragraphs, each focusing on a specific aspect of English knowledge. This enhances clarity and coherence. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, as several errors were present in the original text. The use of varied vocabulary is also limited, with some repetition noted. The transitions between points have been enhanced, but further linking words could be incorporated for even smoother flow. The structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving the clarity of sentences, and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence. Additionally, the overall flow of the essay has been improved by using appropriate transition phrases. For further improvements, the writer could focus on expanding their vocabulary range and incorporating more complex sentence structures. Proofreading for grammatical accuracy before submission would also be beneficial. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and reflective style throughout.
Detailed Scores
What this means:
The essay presents ideas in a somewhat logical order, but the transitions between points are weak, leading to a lack of smooth flow. Cohesive devices are used, but they are not varied or effective enough to enhance clarity. To improve, the writer should use more linking words and phrases to connect ideas, such as 'firstly', 'in addition', and 'finally'.
How to improve:
- Use a clear paragraph structure
- Connect ideas with appropriate linking words
- Maintain logical progression
- Use referencing effectively
What this means:
The essay contains several grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues (e.g., 'my English knowledge have improve' should be 'has improved') and incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'learn' should be 'learning'). While there is some variety in sentence structure, the errors detract from overall clarity. To improve, the writer should focus on proofreading for grammatical accuracy and practicing complex sentence structures.
How to improve:
- Use complex sentence structures
- Maintain grammatical accuracy
- Use a variety of sentence patterns
- Check for common grammar errors
What this means:
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, with some attempts at more advanced terms like 'subjunctive mood' and 'technical vocabulary'. However, there are instances of repetition (e.g., 'have', 'English') and some inaccuracies (e.g., 'word' should be 'words'). To enhance the score, the writer should aim to use a wider range of vocabulary and avoid repetition.
How to improve:
- Use a wider range of vocabulary
- Demonstrate awareness of collocations
- Avoid word repetition
- Use more sophisticated vocabulary accurately
What this means:
The essay addresses the topic of 'My English Knowledge' and provides a personal reflection on the writer's journey in learning English. However, it lacks a clear structure and some points are not fully developed. For improvement, the writer could organize the essay into distinct paragraphs for each aspect of English knowledge, ensuring each point is elaborated with specific examples.
How to improve:
- Address all parts of the task fully
- Support ideas with specific examples
- Develop each point thoroughly
- Stay relevant to the topic
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