Write on the reason why you want to study artificial intelligence and why we should pick you.

Part 2
6.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

I want to study the artificielleal intelligence because it is the future. Computers and robots will be everywhere soon, in every job and house, so it is very important to understand how they work and think. I have always been interested within technology and computers since I was a young boy. I like to take apart things to see inside them and figure out the way they function. Artificial intelligence is the most fascainating area of technology to me. Also Furthermore, I believe I am a great candidate to study AI at your school. I am a very dedicationed and hard-working student. In my studies so far, I have always getachieved good grades, and my teachers say I am curious and clever. I am sure I can succeed in this challenging field if given the opportunity. Studying AI requires someone who is patient, logical, and good at solving problems, which are all qualityies that I have. possess. In conclusion, artificial intelligence is my passion, and I know I have the skills and determination to excel in this area. I would be so grateful if you choose me for your program. I promise I will work very hard and make you proud to have me as a student. Thank you for considering my application, and I look forward to hearing from you soon.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively communicates the writer's interest in artificial intelligence and their suitability for the program. Key strengths include a clear structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion, as well as a personal touch that reflects the writer's passion. However, critical areas for improvement include the need for more specific examples of relevant experiences or achievements related to AI, which would strengthen the argument. Additionally, the essay contained several grammatical errors and inaccuracies in vocabulary that detracted from its overall quality. The structural changes made include correcting spelling errors, improving grammatical accuracy, and enhancing transitions between ideas for better coherence. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include providing specific examples of projects or coursework related to AI and expanding the vocabulary used to avoid repetition. The tone of the essay is appropriate for an application, conveying enthusiasm and determination.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a logical structure with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. However, some transitions between ideas could be smoother. For example, the shift from discussing interest in AI to personal qualities could be better linked with transitional phrases to improve flow.
6.5
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay demonstrates a basic range of grammatical structures, but there are several errors that affect clarity, such as 'I have always been interested with technology' (should be 'interested in') and 'qualitys' (should be 'qualities'). While the meaning is generally clear, improving grammatical accuracy and complexity would enhance the overall quality.
6.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are instances of repetition and some inaccuracies, such as 'artificielle' instead of 'artificial' and 'fascanating' instead of 'fascinating.' Additionally, the phrase 'I am very dedication' should be 'I am a very dedicated.' To improve, the writer could incorporate a wider range of vocabulary and ensure correct spelling.
6.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt by explaining the writer's interest in artificial intelligence and presenting reasons why they would be a suitable candidate. However, it could benefit from more specific examples of experiences or achievements related to AI to strengthen the argument. For instance, mentioning any relevant projects or coursework would enhance the response.
7.0

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