WRITING TASK 1 You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The diagram below shows how geothermal energy is used to produce electricity. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

Part 1 (Academic)
6.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

The diagram is showns the process of geothermal energy for make electricity. It hasnerating electricity from geothermal energy. It consists of five main steps and start fromthat begin underground. First, the cold water is pumped down to the ground using an injection well. This water goes very deep under ebeneath the Earth's surface and is heated by hot rocks. This cause the water to become, causing it to turn into steam. The hot steam then rises up through the well to the surface. This steam is then used to power a turbine at the geothermal power plant. The turbine is connected to a generator, which converts the turbine's mechanical energy of turbine into electrical energy. After the steam has passed bythrough the turbine, it is cooled in a cooling tower. The cooling tower condenses the steam back into water. This water is then pumped again into the ground to repeating the cycle. In summary, geothermal energy uses heat from ethe Earth to produce electricity through a five-step process. The process is loopingcyclical, as cold water is continuously pumped underground, heated to steam, used to generatinge electricity, and cooled again. This allow tos for a constant supply of renewable energy.
DeletedOriginal textAddedCorrected text

Expert Feedback

The essay effectively outlines the process of geothermal energy generation, demonstrating a clear understanding of the main steps involved. Key strengths include a logical structure and a clear overview of the process. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, as several errors were present, and the need for more varied vocabulary to avoid repetition. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, enhancing clarity, and improving transitions between ideas. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include incorporating more specific details about the role of each component in the process and using a wider range of cohesive devices to enhance flow. The tone used is appropriate for an academic context, maintaining a formal and informative style.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is generally well-organized, with a logical progression of ideas. However, some sentences could be better linked to enhance the flow of information. For example, the transition between the cooling tower and the repetition of the cycle could be smoother. Using more cohesive devices, such as 'subsequently' or 'therefore,' would improve the overall coherence.
6.5
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The writing contains several grammatical errors, such as 'is shown the process' instead of 'shows the process' and 'for make electricity' instead of 'to make electricity.' There are also issues with subject-verb agreement and sentence structure. While the meaning is generally clear, improving grammatical accuracy and using a wider range of sentence structures would enhance the overall quality.
5.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is mostly appropriate, but there are instances of repetition, such as 'water' and 'steam.' The phrase 'convert mechanical energy of turbine into electric energy' could be expressed more succinctly as 'convert the turbine's mechanical energy into electrical energy.' To enhance the score, the writer could incorporate a wider range of vocabulary and avoid redundancy.
6.0
Task Achievement
The response provides a clear overview of the geothermal energy process, outlining the main steps involved. However, it lacks some detail and clarity in certain areas, such as the explanation of how the steam powers the turbine. To improve, the writer could include more specific information about the role of each component in the process and ensure that comparisons or relevant features are highlighted more effectively.
6.0

Related Writing Samples

Part 1 (Academic)
8.0

You eat at your college cafeteria every lunch time. However, you think it needs some improvements. Write a letter to the college magazine. In your letter, explain what you like about the cafeteria say what is wrong with it suggest how it could be improved

Part 1 (Academic)
6.5

The graph below shows average carbon dioxide (CO2) emissions per person in the United Kingdom, Sweden, Italy and Portugal between 1967 and 2007. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Part 1 (Academic)
6.0

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Part 1 (Academic)
5.0

The pie charts show the destination of export goods in three countries in 2010.

Part 1 (Academic)
5.0

The chart below shows the expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2010.

Part 1 (Academic)
5.0

"Violence in playgrounds is increasing. However, it is important that parents should teach children not to hit back at bullies."