WRITING TASK 1 You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. You are a member of an organisation which meets regularly at a particular restaurant. The most recent meal you had there was not satisfactory. Write a letter to the manager of the restaurant. In your letter explain why you are writing describe what went wrong with the meal and service suggest what the manager should do to ensure that you and your group return to the restaurant You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear Sir or Madam, You should write at least 150 words.
Sample Essay with Corrections
Expert Feedback
Key strengths of the essay include a clear explanation of the issues faced during the visit and a constructive suggestion for improvement. The letter maintains a logical flow of ideas, which is essential for coherence. Critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, as several errors were present that affected clarity. Additionally, the vocabulary could be more varied and sophisticated to enhance the overall tone of the letter. Structural changes made include the addition of transition words such as 'Firstly' and 'Secondly' to improve coherence and the rephrasing of certain sentences for grammatical accuracy and clarity. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include expanding on the context of the organization and the frequency of visits to provide a more comprehensive background. Additionally, a more formal tone could be adopted throughout the letter. The tone used is generally appropriate for a complaint letter, but it could be enhanced by using more formal language and expressions to convey professionalism.
Detailed Scores
What this means:
The letter is generally coherent, with a logical flow of ideas. However, some transitions could be improved for better cohesion. For example, using phrases like 'Firstly,' 'Secondly,' and 'Finally,' could help structure the points more clearly. Overall, the ideas are connected, but a more varied use of cohesive devices would enhance clarity.
How to improve:
- Use a clear paragraph structure
- Connect ideas with appropriate linking words
- Maintain logical progression
- Use referencing effectively
What this means:
The letter contains several grammatical errors, such as 'we was always satisfied' (should be 'we have always been satisfied') and 'find the table ourself' (should be 'ourselves'). These errors affect the overall clarity and professionalism of the letter. While the meaning is generally clear, improving grammatical accuracy and using a wider range of sentence structures would enhance the score.
How to improve:
- Use complex sentence structures
- Maintain grammatical accuracy
- Use a variety of sentence patterns
- Check for common grammar errors
What this means:
The vocabulary used is appropriate but somewhat limited. Phrases like 'bad experience' and 'taste bad' could be replaced with more sophisticated alternatives, such as 'unsatisfactory experience' and 'lacked flavor.' There are also some repetitive phrases, such as 'come back to your restaurant,' which could be varied to demonstrate a wider range of vocabulary.
How to improve:
- Use a wider range of vocabulary
- Demonstrate awareness of collocations
- Avoid word repetition
- Use more sophisticated vocabulary accurately
What this means:
The letter addresses the task requirements by explaining the reason for writing, describing the issues with the meal and service, and suggesting improvements. However, it could be more specific about the organization and the frequency of visits to enhance the context. Additionally, a more formal tone could be adopted to align with the task's requirements.
How to improve:
- Address all parts of the task fully
- Support ideas with specific examples
- Develop each point thoroughly
- Stay relevant to the topic
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