WRITING TASK 1 You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. You have just received a credit card statement from your bank. The statement lists a number of expensive purchases that you are sure you did not make. Write a letter to the bank manager. In the letter: - Introduce yourself. - Explain that you did not buy the items listed. - Say what you would like the bank to do to fix the problem. You do not need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear Sir or Madam, You should write at least 150 words.
Sample Essay with Corrections
Expert Feedback
Key strengths of the essay include a clear identification of the issue and a polite tone throughout the letter. The writer effectively communicates the urgency of the situation and requests specific actions from the bank. Critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, particularly in verb forms and pluralization. Additionally, enhancing cohesion between ideas and varying vocabulary would strengthen the overall quality of the letter. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving transitions between sentences, and ensuring proper pluralization and verb forms. The overall flow of the letter was maintained while enhancing clarity and coherence. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include providing more specific details about the purchases in question and possibly including a request for a confirmation of the investigation process. The tone used is appropriate for a formal letter, maintaining politeness and professionalism throughout.
Detailed Scores
What this means:
The letter is generally coherent, with a logical flow of ideas. However, some sentences could be better linked for improved cohesion. For example, the transition between expressing concern and requesting an investigation could be smoother.
How to improve:
- Use a clear paragraph structure
- Connect ideas with appropriate linking words
- Maintain logical progression
- Use referencing effectively
What this means:
There are several grammatical errors, such as 'I was shocked to found' (should be 'to find') and 'this purchases add up' (should be 'these purchases add up'). While the meaning is clear, these errors affect the overall accuracy and range of grammatical structures.
How to improve:
- Use complex sentence structures
- Maintain grammatical accuracy
- Use a variety of sentence patterns
- Check for common grammar errors
What this means:
The vocabulary used is appropriate for the context, but there are instances of repetition (e.g., 'purchases' and 'charges'). More varied vocabulary could enhance the letter. Additionally, phrases like 'unauthorize charges' should be corrected to 'unauthorized charges' for accuracy.
How to improve:
- Use a wider range of vocabulary
- Demonstrate awareness of collocations
- Avoid word repetition
- Use more sophisticated vocabulary accurately
What this means:
The letter addresses the task requirements by introducing the writer, explaining the issue with the credit card statement, and requesting action from the bank. However, it could be improved by providing more specific details about the purchases and a clearer request for resolution.
How to improve:
- Address all parts of the task fully
- Support ideas with specific examples
- Develop each point thoroughly
- Stay relevant to the topic
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