WRITING TASK 2 You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Nowadays we are producing more and more rubbish. Why do you think this is happening? What can governments do to help reduce the amount of rubbish produced? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.
Sample Essay with Corrections
Expert Feedback
The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the task, addressing the reasons for increased rubbish production and suggesting government actions to mitigate the issue. Key strengths include a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, critical areas for improvement include the need for more specific examples and a more varied vocabulary to avoid repetition. The essay also contained grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that affected clarity. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving transitions between paragraphs, and enhancing the overall coherence of the essay. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include providing more detailed examples of the impact of advertising on consumer behaviour and exploring additional solutions to the waste problem. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal style throughout.
Detailed Scores
What this means:
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas is occasionally disrupted by awkward phrasing and a lack of clear transitions between points. For instance, the transition from discussing population growth to lifestyle changes could be smoother. To enhance coherence, the writer should use more cohesive devices and ensure that each paragraph logically follows from the previous one.
How to improve:
- Use a clear paragraph structure
- Connect ideas with appropriate linking words
- Maintain logical progression
- Use referencing effectively
What this means:
The essay contains several grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('the amount of rubbish have increased'), incorrect verb forms, and awkward sentence structures. While the writer demonstrates some range in sentence construction, the frequent errors detract from overall clarity. To improve, the writer should focus on proofreading for grammatical accuracy and varying sentence structures to enhance readability.
How to improve:
- Use complex sentence structures
- Maintain grammatical accuracy
- Use a variety of sentence patterns
- Check for common grammar errors
What this means:
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are instances of repetition (e.g., 'thing', 'rubbish') and some informal expressions (e.g., 'very much', 'easy'). The use of more varied and sophisticated vocabulary would enhance the essay. For example, instead of 'thing', the writer could use 'items' or 'products'. Additionally, the writer should aim to avoid spelling errors such as 'quicklee' and 'decomposte'.
How to improve:
- Use a wider range of vocabulary
- Demonstrate awareness of collocations
- Avoid word repetition
- Use more sophisticated vocabulary accurately
What this means:
The essay addresses the task by discussing reasons for increased rubbish production and suggesting government actions to mitigate the issue. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited, and the examples provided could be more specific and detailed. To improve, the writer could elaborate on the impact of advertising on consumer behavior with concrete examples and provide more comprehensive solutions.
How to improve:
- Address all parts of the task fully
- Support ideas with specific examples
- Develop each point thoroughly
- Stay relevant to the topic
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