You and your family are planning to spend a weekend at a seaside hotel. Write a letter to the hotel, making the arrangements. In your letter tell them when you will be arriving and leaving explain what type of rooms you would like, and ask how much the weekend will cost ask about activities and places of interest near the hotel
Sample Essay with Corrections
Expert Feedback
Key strengths of the essay include its clear structure, appropriate tone, and effective addressing of all parts of the task. The letter is well-organized, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the request, which enhances coherence and cohesion. Critical areas for improvement involve minor grammatical errors and lexical variety. The use of phrases like 'young childrens' should be corrected to 'young children,' and 'check out' should be changed to 'checking out.' Additionally, there were some repetitions in vocabulary that could be improved by using synonyms or rephrasing. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors and enhancing clarity, such as changing 'my husband and I' to 'my husband and me' and ensuring proper pluralization and phrasing. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include varying the vocabulary further to avoid repetition and enhancing the overall sophistication of the language used. The tone used is appropriate for a formal letter, maintaining politeness and clarity throughout the correspondence.
Detailed Scores
What this means:
The letter is well-organized, with a clear progression of ideas. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the request, and cohesive devices are used effectively to link sentences and ideas. The overall clarity and fluency of the message are strong.
How to improve:
- Use a clear paragraph structure
- Connect ideas with appropriate linking words
- Maintain logical progression
- Use referencing effectively
What this means:
The letter demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures, with mostly accurate usage. There are a few minor errors, such as 'check out' instead of 'checking out' and 'young childrens' instead of 'young children.' These do not significantly impede understanding, but addressing them would enhance the overall accuracy.
How to improve:
- Use complex sentence structures
- Maintain grammatical accuracy
- Use a variety of sentence patterns
- Check for common grammar errors
What this means:
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate and varied, with phrases like 'quality time together' and 'family-friendly holidays.' However, there are minor repetitions, such as 'rooms' and 'children,' which could be improved by using synonyms or rephrasing. Overall, the lexical resource is strong but could benefit from more variety.
How to improve:
- Use a wider range of vocabulary
- Demonstrate awareness of collocations
- Avoid word repetition
- Use more sophisticated vocabulary accurately
What this means:
The letter effectively addresses all parts of the task, including the arrival and departure dates, room requirements, cost inquiry, and requests for information about activities and places of interest. The tone is appropriate for a formal letter, and the content is relevant and well-developed.
How to improve:
- Address all parts of the task fully
- Support ideas with specific examples
- Develop each point thoroughly
- Stay relevant to the topic
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