You and your teenage daughter visited the local library last weekend to find books for her school project. After searching for some time, you realized that the library did not have any books on the subject. This is not the first time that the library did not have something you need. Write a letter to the library manager: Describe what you were trying to find Explain why you needed the book and how you tried to find it Suggest what the library can do to help you find the information you need

Part 1 (General)
7.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing this letter because I want to tellto inform you about a problem I haencountered in your library last weekend. Me and my daughter and I went there to find books abouton ancient Egyptian architecture, but we could not find any books aboutlocate any resources on this topic. My daughter needs these books very much because she must dourgently as she must complete a school project about the pyramids and temples in Egypt. We looked everywhere insearched thoroughly in the history section and asked the library staff to help usfor assistance. They were very nicehelpful and helpaided us in searching the computer system, but still nothing was there. We spent more than oneunfortunately, we still found nothing. We spent over an hour looking for books, and my daughter became veryquite disappointed. This is not the first time we cannothave struggled to find what we need in the library. Last month, I was looking for books abouton gardening tips, but there were no good ones. I think library should buy more books about different topics that students need for school. Maybe you can ask peoplsuitable options available. I believe the library should consider acquiring more books on various topics that students require for their studies. Perhaps you could survey patrons to determine what kindtypes of books they wantould like to read and then buy those books. Alsopurchase those titles. Additionally, it would be very helpfubeneficial if the library can makeould implement a system where peopleatrons can request specific books they need. I hope you will think about getting more bookconsider expanding the collection to include more resources that can helpassist students with their schoolwork. ItThis would make library much better for everyone who lives here. Lookinggreatly enhance the library's value for everyone in the community. I look forward to your response. Yours faithfully, [Name]
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Expert Feedback

The letter demonstrates several strengths, including a clear understanding of the task and a logical structure that addresses the issue at hand. The writer effectively communicates the need for specific books and suggests practical solutions for the library. However, there are critical areas for improvement. The letter could benefit from more detailed explanations regarding the school project and the consequences of not finding the necessary books. Additionally, enhancing coherence through better transitions between ideas and reducing repetition in vocabulary would improve the overall quality. The grammatical accuracy needs attention, particularly in terms of sentence structure and the use of articles. Structural changes made include refining the introduction for clarity, improving transitions between paragraphs, and correcting grammatical errors. The overall flow has been enhanced by ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and supporting details. For further improvements, the writer could incorporate more varied vocabulary and complex sentence structures to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical ability. Additionally, providing specific examples of the types of books that would be beneficial could strengthen the argument. The tone of the letter is appropriate, maintaining a polite and formal style suitable for a letter to a library authority.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The letter is generally well-organized, with a clear progression of ideas. However, some sentences could be better linked for smoother flow. For example, the transition between the current issue and the previous experience could be more cohesive. Using more varied cohesive devices would enhance clarity.
7.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The letter contains some grammatical errors, such as 'Me and my daughter' (should be 'My daughter and I') and missing articles ('This is not first time' should be 'This is not the first time'). While the meaning is clear, these errors affect the overall accuracy. More complex sentence structures could also be employed to demonstrate a wider range.
6.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is appropriate for the context, with some good phrases like 'disappointed' and 'school project.' However, there is some repetition of phrases like 'books about' and 'library.' To improve, the writer could use synonyms or more varied expressions to enhance lexical diversity.
7.0
Task Achievement
The letter addresses the task requirements by describing the specific topic (ancient Egyptian architecture) and explaining the need for the books for a school project. It also suggests actionable solutions for the library. However, the response could be improved by providing more detail about the specific project and the impact of not finding the books.
7.5

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