You are considering relocating to Canada for work. Your employer is willing to assist with your visa application and relocation costs. Write a letter to your family back home. In your letter: explain why you are considering relocating to Canada describe the assistance your employer is offering outline your next steps in the relocation process

Part 2
6.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

My dearest family, I'm writing this letter forto tell you some important news about my career and my future. I have decided to apply to relocate to Canada for a work. It is a very big decision for me, and I want to make sure you understanded my reasons. As you know, my current work is good, but there is not much room tofor growth or advancement. My employer haves an office in Canada, and they tellhave told me there are many opportunityies for me there. The job in Canada is a promoteion with a higher salary and more responsibilities. It is the next step I need to take forto develop my career. My employer says they will help me with everything I need for the relocateion. They will pay all the costs for my visa application and help me to find a place to live in Canada. They also offer extra money for helpto assist with moving expenses. This support makes the decision much easier because I know they really want me in the Canada office and will help me success. Ted. Furthermore, the next thing I need to do is start the visa process, which can tookake a long time. I also need to research about living in Canada, likesuch as finding a place to live and learning about the city I will livbe in. It is a lot to do, but I am excited forabout the challenge and the new adventure in my life. I hope you can understanding my decision and support me in this big change. I promise to call and write often to let you know how I am doing. I will work hard to make you proud of me. With love, [Your Name]
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Expert Feedback

Key strengths of the essay include a clear structure and a logical flow of ideas, which effectively convey the writer's intentions and feelings about the relocation. The letter addresses the task requirements by explaining the reasons for relocating, describing the employer's assistance, and outlining the next steps. Critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, particularly with verb tenses and subject-verb agreement. Additionally, the vocabulary could be more varied and precise to enhance clarity and avoid repetition. The development of ideas could also be more detailed, especially regarding the benefits of the new job and the specifics of the relocation process. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving transitions between paragraphs, and enhancing the clarity of certain phrases. For example, 'The next thing I need to do' was changed to 'Furthermore, the next thing I need to do' to improve coherence. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include adding more personal feelings about the move and elaborating on the research about living in Canada. This would provide a deeper insight into the writer's motivations and preparations. The tone used in the letter is appropriate, as it is warm and personal, reflecting the writer's affection for their family while discussing a significant life change.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The letter has a logical structure and generally flows well, but there are some awkward transitions and a lack of cohesive devices. For example, phrases like 'The next thing I need to do' could be improved with more varied linking words. To enhance coherence, the writer could use more cohesive devices to connect ideas smoothly, such as 'Furthermore' or 'In addition'.
6.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The letter contains several grammatical errors, such as 'I have decide' instead of 'I have decided', 'there is not much room to growth' instead of 'there is not much room for growth', and 'can took' instead of 'can take'. These errors affect clarity and accuracy. To improve, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement and verb tense consistency, as well as proofreading for minor mistakes.
5.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are instances of repetition and some inaccuracies, such as 'a promote' instead of 'a promotion' and 'understanded' instead of 'understood'. The writer could improve by using a wider range of vocabulary and ensuring accuracy. For example, instead of 'help with moving expense', they could say 'assistance with relocation costs'.
6.0
Task Achievement
The letter addresses the task requirements by explaining the reasons for relocating, describing the employer's assistance, and outlining the next steps. However, the development of ideas could be more detailed, particularly regarding the benefits of the new job and the specifics of the relocation process. For improvement, the writer could include more personal feelings about the move and elaborate on the research about living in Canada.
6.5

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