You are experiencing financial problems and want to ask your landlord if you can pay your rent late. Write a letter to your landlord. In your letter explain: Why you cannot pay the rent When you will pay the rent How you will ensure you can pay your rent in the future
Sample Essay with Corrections
Expert Feedback
Key strengths of the essay include a clear explanation of the situation and a structured approach to addressing the landlord's concerns. The letter effectively communicates the writer's intentions and provides a timeline for payment. However, critical areas for improvement include enhancing the formality of the tone, correcting grammatical errors, and varying vocabulary to avoid repetition. Structural changes made include improving the flow between paragraphs and ensuring grammatical accuracy. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include using more sophisticated vocabulary and cohesive devices to enhance clarity. The tone used is generally appropriate, but a more formal approach would strengthen the overall message.
Detailed Scores
What this means:
The letter is generally coherent, with a logical flow of ideas. However, some sentences could be better linked to enhance the overall cohesion. For example, the transition between discussing the job loss and the plan to save money could be smoother. Using more cohesive devices would improve the clarity of the message.
How to improve:
- Use a clear paragraph structure
- Connect ideas with appropriate linking words
- Maintain logical progression
- Use referencing effectively
What this means:
There are several grammatical errors, such as 'the company I working for' instead of 'the company I was working for' and 'recieve' instead of 'receive.' These errors affect the overall clarity. While the writer demonstrates some range in sentence structure, the accuracy needs improvement to achieve a higher score.
How to improve:
- Use complex sentence structures
- Maintain grammatical accuracy
- Use a variety of sentence patterns
- Check for common grammar errors
What this means:
The vocabulary used is appropriate for the context, but there are instances of repetition (e.g., 'job' and 'rent'). More varied vocabulary could enhance the letter. Phrases like 'unexpectedly' instead of 'unexpectly' would also improve the lexical accuracy.
How to improve:
- Use a wider range of vocabulary
- Demonstrate awareness of collocations
- Avoid word repetition
- Use more sophisticated vocabulary accurately
What this means:
The letter addresses all the required points: it explains the reason for the late payment, provides a timeline for when the rent will be paid, and outlines a plan to prevent future issues. However, the tone could be slightly more formal, and there are minor inconsistencies in the explanation of the situation that could be clarified for a stronger impact.
How to improve:
- Address all parts of the task fully
- Support ideas with specific examples
- Develop each point thoroughly
- Stay relevant to the topic
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