You are going to spend three months during work experience in an organization. Write a letter to the manager of the organization where you are going to do work experience. In your letter: Thank the manager for the opportunity to do work experience Explain what you hope to learn from the work experience Ask some questions about the work experience you are going to do

Part 1 (General)
7.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

Dear Mr. John, I am writing to say thank you very much for the chance to doexpress my gratitude for the opportunity to undertake work experience at your organization for 3three months. ItThis is a greatfantastic opportunity for me, and iI am very excited about it. I am looking forward to learnacquiring many new thingskills during this time. Firstly, I hope to learn more about how your company works and whatgain a deeper understanding of how your company operates and the roles of the different departments do. I am particularly interested in learning about the day-to-day operations and how everything fits together. Additionally, I would like to gain somedevelop practical skills and experience in my field of study, such as project management and teamwork. I believe that this work experience will be very invaluable for my future career. I have a few questions aboutregarding the work experience. Could you please let me know what kind ofinform me about the specific tasks I will be doundertaking and which department I will be working inassigned to? Also, will there be any training provided, or will I be expected to already havepossess certain skills? Lastly, what are beforehand? Lastly, could you clarify the working hours and the dress code for the organization? Thank you once again for this opportunity. I am eager to start my work experience and contribute positively to your organization. I look forward to hearing back from you soon. Sincerely, [Your Name]
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Expert Feedback

Key strengths of the essay include a clear structure, appropriate tone, and effective addressing of the task requirements. The letter is well-organized, with distinct paragraphs that focus on specific aspects of the work experience. Critical areas for improvement include reducing repetitive phrases and correcting minor grammatical errors. Structural changes made include enhancing the introduction for clarity, varying vocabulary, and correcting grammatical mistakes. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include incorporating more complex sentence structures and additional specific examples of skills the writer wishes to acquire. The tone used is formal and appropriate for the context of a professional letter.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The letter is well-organized, with a clear progression of ideas. Each paragraph has a distinct focus, and cohesive devices are used effectively to link ideas. For even better coherence, the writer could use more varied linking phrases to enhance the flow between sentences.
8.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The letter demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures, but there are minor errors, such as 'i' instead of 'I' and 'to learn' instead of 'to learning.' These errors slightly detract from the overall accuracy. More complex sentence structures could also be employed to showcase a wider grammatical range.
7.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is appropriate and conveys the intended meaning well. However, there are some repetitive phrases, such as 'work experience' and 'learn,' which could be varied for a richer lexical resource. Incorporating synonyms or more sophisticated expressions could elevate the score.
7.5
Task Achievement
The letter effectively addresses all parts of the task: it thanks the manager, outlines what the writer hopes to learn, and poses relevant questions about the work experience. The tone is appropriate for a formal letter, and the content is clear and relevant. To improve further, the writer could provide more specific examples of skills they wish to acquire.
8.0

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