You are going to stay three months doing work experience in a foreign country. Write a letter to a friend who lives in the country where you will be working. In your letter: explain why you are going to do work experience describe the work you will be doing ask your friend for advice about the things you should take with you
Sample Essay with Corrections
Expert Feedback
The letter demonstrates a clear understanding of the task requirements, addressing the purpose of the letter, the job role, and seeking advice. Key strengths include a logical flow of ideas and a friendly tone appropriate for a letter to a friend. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, spelling, and the use of a wider range of vocabulary. Structural changes were made to enhance clarity and coherence, such as correcting verb forms and improving transitions between ideas. Suggestions for further improvements include varying sentence structures and expanding vocabulary to avoid repetition. The tone is generally appropriate, but a slightly more formal approach could enhance clarity given the context of discussing work experience.
Detailed Scores
What this means:
The letter is generally coherent, with a logical flow of ideas. However, some sentences could be better linked for improved cohesion. For example, using more cohesive devices like 'Additionally' or 'Furthermore' could enhance the flow between ideas.
How to improve:
- Use a clear paragraph structure
- Connect ideas with appropriate linking words
- Maintain logical progression
- Use referencing effectively
What this means:
There are multiple grammatical errors, including incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'I writing you letter' should be 'I am writing you a letter'), and issues with subject-verb agreement. While the meaning is generally clear, these errors detract from the overall quality of the writing.
How to improve:
- Use complex sentence structures
- Maintain grammatical accuracy
- Use a variety of sentence patterns
- Check for common grammar errors
What this means:
The vocabulary used is mostly appropriate, but there are several spelling errors (e.g., 'exiting' should be 'exciting', 'expirience' should be 'experience', 'asistant' should be 'assistant'). Additionally, some phrases are repetitive, such as 'I will be' and 'I am'. A wider range of vocabulary would improve the score.
How to improve:
- Use a wider range of vocabulary
- Demonstrate awareness of collocations
- Avoid word repetition
- Use more sophisticated vocabulary accurately
What this means:
The letter addresses all parts of the task, explaining the reason for the work experience, describing the job role, and asking for advice. However, there are some minor inconsistencies in the explanation of the work experience and the tone could be slightly more formal given the context.
How to improve:
- Address all parts of the task fully
- Support ideas with specific examples
- Develop each point thoroughly
- Stay relevant to the topic
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