You are having a party and want to invite your friend from a different city. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: Describe why you are having the party Give directions on how to get to the venue Suggest how you can accommodate him/her
Sample Essay with Corrections
Expert Feedback
The letter effectively addresses all parts of the task, providing clear information about the party, directions, and accommodation. Key strengths include a logical structure and a friendly tone appropriate for the context. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, particularly with verb forms and article usage, as well as enhancing coherence with better transitions. Structural changes made include correcting verb tenses and improving phrasing for clarity. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented include varying vocabulary further to avoid repetition and using more descriptive language. Overall, the tone is appropriate for a friendly invitation, maintaining warmth and enthusiasm.
Detailed Scores
What this means:
The letter is generally coherent, with a logical flow of ideas. However, some sentences could be better connected. For example, the transition between the directions and the accommodation suggestion could be smoother. Using more cohesive devices, such as 'Additionally' or 'Furthermore', would improve the overall cohesion.
How to improve:
- Use a clear paragraph structure
- Connect ideas with appropriate linking words
- Maintain logical progression
- Use referencing effectively
What this means:
There are several grammatical errors, including incorrect verb forms ('i organise', 'I become 21 year old') and issues with article usage ('the venue of party'). While the meaning is generally clear, these errors detract from the overall accuracy. A focus on correct verb tenses and article usage would improve the score.
How to improve:
- Use complex sentence structures
- Maintain grammatical accuracy
- Use a variety of sentence patterns
- Check for common grammar errors
What this means:
The vocabulary used is mostly appropriate, but there are instances of repetition and awkward phrasing, such as 'big park' and 'very fun party'. To enhance the lexical resource, the writer could use synonyms or more descriptive language, like 'large park' or 'exciting celebration'.
How to improve:
- Use a wider range of vocabulary
- Demonstrate awareness of collocations
- Avoid word repetition
- Use more sophisticated vocabulary accurately
What this means:
The letter addresses all parts of the task: it explains the reason for the party, provides directions to the venue, and suggests accommodation for the friend. However, there are minor issues with clarity and tone, such as 'i organise' instead of 'I am organizing' and 'I become 21 year old' instead of 'I am turning 21 years old'. Improving these phrases would enhance the overall effectiveness.
How to improve:
- Address all parts of the task fully
- Support ideas with specific examples
- Develop each point thoroughly
- Stay relevant to the topic
Related Writing Samples
Your ID card has been stolen. Write to the Local Police Station, giving details of: - who you are - what happened - ask what you should do to get a new ID card
The graphs below show the cinema attendance in Australia and the average cinema visits by different age groups from 1996 to 2000. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons.
A large company in your area has decided to spend a certain amount of money, either to sponsor a local children's sports team for two years or to pay for two open air concerts. It has asked for feedback from the general public. Write a letter to the company. In your letter: Describe the benefits of sponsoring the sports team. Summarise the benefits of paying for the concerts. Say how you think the company should spend the money.
In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or negative development?
You and your teenage daughter visited the local library last weekend to find books for her school project. After searching for some time, you realized that the library did not have any books on the subject. This is not the first time that the library did not have something you need. Write a letter to the library manager: Describe what you were trying to find Explain why you needed the book and how you tried to find it Suggest what the library can do to help you find the information you need
Last month you had a holiday overseas where you stayed with some friends. They have just sent you some photos of your holiday. Write a letter to your friends. In your letter: thank them for the photos and for the holiday explain why you didn't write earlier invite them to come and stay with you