You are leaving your job and would like to invite your friend to replace you. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter, you should: - Describe the job - Explain the reason you are leaving - Tell him/her why you would recommend the job to them
Sample Essay with Corrections
Expert Feedback
Key strengths of the essay include a clear structure, effective communication of the job details, and an appropriate tone for a personal letter. The letter addresses all parts of the task prompt and maintains a logical flow of ideas. Critical areas for improvement involve enhancing lexical variety to avoid repetition and correcting minor grammatical errors, such as missing articles. The use of synonyms for 'good' and 'understanding person' would improve the lexical resource score. Structural changes made include adding the article 'a' before 'customer service representative' and 'into' instead of 'to' in 'accepted into a master's program.' Additionally, I replaced 'good' with 'pleasant' and 'supportive' to enhance lexical variety. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include varying sentence structures more and incorporating additional cohesive devices to further enhance the flow of ideas. The tone used is appropriate for a personal letter, maintaining a friendly and encouraging voice throughout.
Detailed Scores
What this means:
The letter is well-organized, with a logical flow of ideas. Each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, and cohesive devices are used effectively to link sentences and ideas. The progression of thoughts is clear, contributing to the overall coherence.
How to improve:
- Use a clear paragraph structure
- Connect ideas with appropriate linking words
- Maintain logical progression
- Use referencing effectively
What this means:
The letter demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures, with mostly accurate usage. There are minor errors, such as 'customer service representative' missing an article ('a customer service representative'), but these do not significantly impede understanding. Overall, the grammatical accuracy is strong.
How to improve:
- Use complex sentence structures
- Maintain grammatical accuracy
- Use a variety of sentence patterns
- Check for common grammar errors
What this means:
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate and varied, with phrases like 'flexible working hours' and 'good training program' enhancing the letter. However, there are some repetitive phrases, such as 'good' and 'understanding person,' which could be replaced with synonyms for greater lexical variety.
How to improve:
- Use a wider range of vocabulary
- Demonstrate awareness of collocations
- Avoid word repetition
- Use more sophisticated vocabulary accurately
What this means:
The letter effectively addresses all parts of the task prompt, providing a clear description of the job, the reason for leaving, and a strong recommendation for the friend. The tone is appropriate for a personal letter, and the content is relevant and well-developed.
How to improve:
- Address all parts of the task fully
- Support ideas with specific examples
- Develop each point thoroughly
- Stay relevant to the topic
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