You are taking a course at a local college. The deadline for your project was last week but you haven't finished it. Write a letter to your lecturer. In your letter introduce yourself explain why you haven't handed in the project yet request more time to do it
Sample Essay with Corrections
Expert Feedback
Key strengths of the essay include a clear structure that addresses all parts of the task, including an introduction, explanation of the delay, and a request for an extension. The tone is generally polite and respectful, which is appropriate for a letter to a lecturer. Critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, particularly with subject-verb agreement and verb forms. Additionally, the vocabulary could be more varied to avoid repetition and enhance clarity. The use of transitional phrases could improve the flow between sentences. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving sentence structure for clarity, and enhancing cohesion with better transitions. For example, 'I am a student' and 'I am writing' were corrected for grammatical accuracy, and 'I would like to request' was used to make the request more formal. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include expanding on the explanation of the illness to provide more context and using a wider range of vocabulary to express ideas more vividly. Additionally, incorporating more formal language could further enhance the tone of the letter. Overall, the tone used is appropriate for the context, maintaining a respectful and formal approach throughout the letter.
Detailed Scores
What this means:
The letter is generally coherent, with a logical flow of ideas. However, some sentences could be better linked for improved cohesion. For example, using transitional phrases like 'Furthermore' or 'Additionally' could enhance the flow between sentences.
How to improve:
- Use a clear paragraph structure
- Connect ideas with appropriate linking words
- Maintain logical progression
- Use referencing effectively
What this means:
There are several grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement ('I am student' should be 'I am a student'), incorrect verb forms ('I writing' should be 'I am writing'), and spelling mistakes ('complet' should be 'complete'). These errors affect clarity and professionalism. More attention to grammar and proofreading would enhance the overall quality.
How to improve:
- Use complex sentence structures
- Maintain grammatical accuracy
- Use a variety of sentence patterns
- Check for common grammar errors
What this means:
The vocabulary used is appropriate but somewhat limited. There are instances of repetition, such as 'project' and 'deadline.' To improve, the writer could use synonyms or more varied expressions, such as 'submission' or 'due date.'
How to improve:
- Use a wider range of vocabulary
- Demonstrate awareness of collocations
- Avoid word repetition
- Use more sophisticated vocabulary accurately
What this means:
The letter addresses all parts of the task: it introduces the writer, explains the reason for the delay, and requests an extension. However, the explanation could be more detailed, and the tone could be slightly more formal to match the context of a letter to a lecturer.
How to improve:
- Address all parts of the task fully
- Support ideas with specific examples
- Develop each point thoroughly
- Stay relevant to the topic
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