You bought a TV a week ago but when you got home you discovered it did not work properly. You called customer service to report the problem but you have not yet received any help. Write a letter to the company and in your letter: Introduce yourself Explain the problem And state what action you would like from the company
Sample Essay with Corrections
Expert Feedback
The letter demonstrates a clear understanding of the task requirements, effectively introducing the writer and outlining the problem with the TV. Key strengths include a logical structure and a clear request for action. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, particularly in subject-verb agreement and tense usage, as well as enhancing lexical variety to avoid repetition. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving coherence with better linking phrases, and refining awkward phrasing for clarity. Further improvements could involve providing more specific details about the TV model and the issues encountered. The tone used is appropriate for a formal letter, maintaining politeness while clearly expressing dissatisfaction.
Detailed Scores
What this means:
The letter has a logical structure, but some sentences are awkwardly constructed, which affects the overall flow. For example, 'I am not very happy' could be rephrased for clarity. The use of cohesive devices is limited, and the writer could improve coherence by using linking words more effectively, such as 'firstly,' 'next,' and 'finally.'
How to improve:
- Use a clear paragraph structure
- Connect ideas with appropriate linking words
- Maintain logical progression
- Use referencing effectively
What this means:
There are several grammatical errors throughout the letter, such as 'I student who study' instead of 'I am a student who studies' and 'I paying for it' instead of 'I paid for it.' These errors affect clarity and accuracy. To improve, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement and proper tense usage.
How to improve:
- Use complex sentence structures
- Maintain grammatical accuracy
- Use a variety of sentence patterns
- Check for common grammar errors
What this means:
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are instances of repetition and awkward phrasing, such as 'I have facing some problem' and 'I calling your customer care.' The writer could enhance their lexical resource by using synonyms and more varied expressions, for example, 'I encountered an issue' instead of 'I have facing some problem.'
How to improve:
- Use a wider range of vocabulary
- Demonstrate awareness of collocations
- Avoid word repetition
- Use more sophisticated vocabulary accurately
What this means:
The letter addresses the task requirements by introducing the writer, explaining the problem with the TV, and stating the desired action. However, the introduction could be clearer, and the explanation of the problem could be more concise. For improvement, the writer could provide more details about the model of the TV and the specific issues encountered.
How to improve:
- Address all parts of the task fully
- Support ideas with specific examples
- Develop each point thoroughly
- Stay relevant to the topic
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