You eat at your college cafeteria at lunch time every day. However, you think it needs some improvements. Write a letter to the college magazine. In your letter: - explain what you like about the cafeteria - say what is wrong with it - suggest how it could be improved

Part 1 (General)
5.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

Dear college magazine, I am writing to you about our cafeteria in the college where I eating my lunch every day in there. There are things I like inabout the cafeteria, but I also i see problems wthat need to be fixed, so I would like to explain and suggest some change it.s. First, I apprecaiate that the food in the cafeteria is not expensive. It saves my money budget for lunch meals. And everyday hasdditionally, there are 2 or 3 choices of main course so there ares every day, providing some variety for students. The staff who worked there are also very friendly. However, I have noticed that the hygiene in the cafeteria is not always the best. Sometimes the tables are messy and not cleaned properly. The same problem with floor. Andexists with the floor. Furthermore, some of the chairs and tables look old and need repairs. It, which makes the cafeteria look not very nice place. Forappear less inviting. To improve this problem isituation, I suggest that cleaning should be done more frequently during the lunch hour so ithat it is always clean. Tables should be wiped right away after students finish. Andditionally, it may be can buybeneficial to purchase some new chairs and tables to replace the old ones. If the cafaeteria is more cleaner and more modern, it will be a nicer place for students to spent time ther fod their lunch break.s. Thank you for reading my letter. I hope this feedback from a student can help make our college cafeteria morea better place. Sincerely, Paul
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Expert Feedback

Key strengths of the essay include a clear identification of both positive aspects and areas for improvement regarding the cafeteria. The writer expresses their thoughts in a straightforward manner, which is commendable. Critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, spelling, and coherence. The original letter contained several grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that detracted from the overall clarity. The use of cohesive devices was also limited, which affected the flow of ideas. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving sentence structures, and enhancing coherence with better transitions. The introduction was clarified, and the overview was made more concise. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include elaborating on specific food items enjoyed and providing more detailed suggestions for improvement. Additionally, varying the vocabulary further could enhance the overall quality of the writing. The tone used is appropriate for a letter to a college magazine, being polite and constructive while addressing concerns. Overall, the revised letter is clearer and more coherent, making it easier for the reader to understand the writer's points.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The letter has a basic structure, but the flow of ideas is somewhat disjointed. There are instances of awkward phrasing, such as 'I like to explain and suggest change it.' Improved use of cohesive devices and clearer transitions between points would enhance coherence. For example, using phrases like 'In addition' or 'Furthermore' could help link ideas more effectively.
5.5
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The letter contains several grammatical errors, including incorrect verb forms ('I writing,' 'I eating'), missing articles ('the college'), and awkward sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, these errors detract from the overall quality. To improve, the writer should focus on using correct verb tenses and sentence structures, such as 'I am writing' and 'I eat my lunch there every day.'
5.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are several spelling errors (e.g., 'cafteria,' 'hygene,' 'apprecaite') and repetitive phrases (e.g., 'cafeteria' is used frequently). To improve, the writer could incorporate a wider range of vocabulary and ensure correct spelling, such as using 'cafeteria' consistently and exploring synonyms for 'clean' or 'old.'
5.0
Task Achievement
The letter addresses the task requirements by explaining what the writer likes about the cafeteria, identifying issues, and suggesting improvements. However, the response could be more structured and detailed. For example, the writer could elaborate on specific food items they enjoy or provide more concrete suggestions for improvement.
6.0

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