You have a friend who lives in a different country. You have not seen this friend for a long time. You recently received a letter from this friend. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter: thank your friend for the letter explain why you have not written for a long time give your friend an update on your life and ask them questions about their life Write at least 150 words.
Sample Essay with Corrections
Expert Feedback
The letter demonstrates a friendly and personal tone, which is appropriate for the context of writing to a friend. Key strengths include addressing all parts of the prompt and providing updates about the writer's life. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, vocabulary range, and the use of cohesive devices. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving verb forms, and enhancing transitions between ideas. For instance, phrases like 'let me share some news about my life' were adjusted for better flow. Further improvements could include adding more specific details about the writer's experiences and feelings, as well as varying sentence structures to enhance engagement. Overall, the tone is warm and inviting, suitable for a personal letter.
Detailed Scores
What this means:
The letter has a logical structure and flows reasonably well, but there are some awkward transitions and a lack of cohesive devices. For instance, the use of phrases like 'let me tell you some news about my life' could be more effectively linked to the previous sentences. Improving the use of cohesive devices would enhance the overall clarity.
How to improve:
- Use a clear paragraph structure
- Connect ideas with appropriate linking words
- Maintain logical progression
- Use referencing effectively
What this means:
The letter contains multiple grammatical errors, including incorrect verb forms ('have no wrote' should be 'have not written'), subject-verb agreement issues ('my son have start school' should be 'my son has started school'), and awkward constructions. While the meaning is generally clear, these errors detract from the overall quality. A focus on grammatical accuracy and varied sentence structures would enhance the score.
How to improve:
- Use complex sentence structures
- Maintain grammatical accuracy
- Use a variety of sentence patterns
- Check for common grammar errors
What this means:
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are several instances of repetition and misused words, such as 'take a time' instead of 'took the time' and 'tire' instead of 'tired.' Additionally, phrases like 'very appreciate' should be corrected to 'very appreciative.' Expanding the range of vocabulary and correcting these errors would improve the score.
How to improve:
- Use a wider range of vocabulary
- Demonstrate awareness of collocations
- Avoid word repetition
- Use more sophisticated vocabulary accurately
What this means:
The letter addresses all parts of the prompt, including thanking the friend, explaining the lack of communication, and providing updates on the writer's life. However, the response could be improved by adding more specific details and examples, particularly in the updates about the writer's life and the questions posed to the friend.
How to improve:
- Address all parts of the task fully
- Support ideas with specific examples
- Develop each point thoroughly
- Stay relevant to the topic
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