You have a problem with a neighbor. Write a letter to your neighbor.
Sample Essay with Corrections
Expert Feedback
Key strengths of the essay include a clear articulation of the problem and a polite request for resolution, demonstrating good communication skills. The letter is well-organized with a logical flow, and the tone is appropriate for addressing a neighbor. Critical areas for improvement involve enhancing lexical diversity by reducing repetition and correcting grammatical errors, such as 'have been bothering me' to 'has been bothering me.' Structural changes made include correcting the grammatical error and adding specificity regarding the impact of the loud music on weekdays. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented include incorporating more varied linking phrases to enhance coherence and providing specific examples of the type of music or frequency of disturbances. Overall, the tone is respectful and considerate, which is suitable for the context of the letter.
Detailed Scores
What this means:
The letter is generally well-organized, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Ideas are logically sequenced, and cohesive devices are used appropriately. However, the flow could be improved by using more varied linking phrases to enhance the connection between sentences and paragraphs.
How to improve:
- Use a clear paragraph structure
- Connect ideas with appropriate linking words
- Maintain logical progression
- Use referencing effectively
What this means:
The letter contains some grammatical errors, such as 'have been bothering me' instead of 'has been bothering me.' While the overall meaning is clear, these errors detract from the overall accuracy. The writer demonstrates a reasonable range of sentence structures, but more complex sentences could be used to showcase greater grammatical flexibility.
How to improve:
- Use complex sentence structures
- Maintain grammatical accuracy
- Use a variety of sentence patterns
- Check for common grammar errors
What this means:
The vocabulary used is appropriate for the context, with phrases like 'I would appreciate it' and 'I am willing to work with you' demonstrating a good command of language. However, there is some repetition of words such as 'music' and 'sleep.' To improve, the writer could incorporate synonyms or more varied expressions to enhance lexical diversity.
How to improve:
- Use a wider range of vocabulary
- Demonstrate awareness of collocations
- Avoid word repetition
- Use more sophisticated vocabulary accurately
What this means:
The letter addresses the problem clearly and presents a polite request for the neighbor to lower the music volume. It effectively conveys the impact of the issue on the writer's life and offers potential solutions. However, it could be improved by providing more specific examples or details about the frequency of the disturbances or the type of music, which would enhance the overall argument.
How to improve:
- Address all parts of the task fully
- Support ideas with specific examples
- Develop each point thoroughly
- Stay relevant to the topic
Related Writing Samples
Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on individuals and society. To what extent do you agree?
Whether or not someone achieves their aims is mostly a question of luck. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
We have become a disposable society, preferring to buy new products rather than fixing existing items. What are the causes of this trend and what are the possible solutions?
The tendency that news reports in media focus on problems and emergencies rather than on positive developments is harmful for individuals and the society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Today single-use products are still very common. Why is this? What are the problems associated with this?
In the future, more people will choose to go on holiday in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday. Do you agree or disagree?