You have a problem with a neighbour. Write a letter to your neighbour. In your letter: describe the problem say how long it has been a problem explain what action you want the neighbour to take Write at least 150 words. Complete paper. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear……

Part 1 (General)
6.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

Dear nNeighbour, I am writing this letter to discuss about the problematicthe ongoing issue which we have between us. tThe problem is aboutconcerns the loud music whichthat you play every night. It haves been a problem for around 3three months now, since you have moved into the new flat. The loud music is very disturbing for me and my family. It is espiecially hard for my small children, who can'not sleep because of it. They need to wake up early for school, but the music late at night makes it difficult. My wife is also disturbed by the music,noise, as she haves to work and needs proper rest. I am kindly asking you if you could notrefrain from play theing loud music so often and so much late at night. It would be very good if you can play it more quietgreatly appreciated if you could keep the volume down after 10pm PM. If that is not possible, then at least toplease consider playing it with closedthe windows and doors, closed to minimalise the noise. I hope we can find a solution together whichthat works for both of us. Please let me know if you have any questions or wantould like to discuss more about this topicthis matter further. I am happy to talk to you in person as well. Thank you for your understanding. I am looking forward to hearing from you soon. Yours sincerely, Your nNeighbour
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Expert Feedback

Key strengths of the essay include a clear identification of the issue and a polite tone throughout the letter. The writer effectively communicates the impact of the loud music on their family, which adds a personal touch to the request. Critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, particularly with subject-verb agreement and verb forms. The vocabulary could be more varied to avoid repetition, and the introduction could be more formal. Additionally, the use of cohesive devices could enhance the flow of ideas. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving the clarity of requests, and enhancing the overall coherence of the letter. The introduction was slightly rephrased for formality, and transitions between paragraphs were improved. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include using more varied vocabulary and sentence structures to enhance lexical resource and grammatical range. The writer could also consider providing more specific examples of how the noise affects their daily life to strengthen their argument. The tone used is appropriate for a letter to a neighbour, maintaining politeness while addressing a sensitive issue.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The letter is generally coherent, with a logical flow of ideas. However, some sentences could be better linked for smoother transitions. For example, using cohesive devices like 'Furthermore' or 'In addition' could enhance the flow. Improving paragraph structure would also help in organizing thoughts more clearly.
6.5
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
There are several grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('It have been a problem') and incorrect verb forms ('make it difficult'). The sentence structures are mostly simple, lacking variety. To improve, the writer should focus on using correct verb forms and incorporating a wider range of sentence structures.
5.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is appropriate but somewhat repetitive, particularly with phrases like 'loud music' and 'disturbed.' There are also some spelling errors, such as 'espiecally' and 'minimalise.' To improve, the writer could use synonyms or more varied expressions to convey the same ideas, enhancing the overall lexical range.
6.0
Task Achievement
The letter addresses the problem of loud music from the neighbor, mentions the duration of the issue, and requests specific actions to mitigate the noise. However, the introduction could be more formal, and the request could be clearer. For improvement, the writer could specify the impact of the noise on their daily life more vividly.
7.0

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