You have been invited to your friend's birthday party. However, you will not be able to attend. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: thank your friend for the invitation explain why you cannot attend suggest a future meeting with your friend Write at least 150 words.
Sample Essay with Corrections
Expert Feedback
Key strengths of the essay include a clear structure that addresses all parts of the task, such as thanking the friend, explaining the reason for absence, and suggesting a future meeting. The tone is friendly and appropriate for a personal letter. Critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, particularly with verb forms and sentence structures. Additionally, the vocabulary could be more varied and precise to enhance the overall quality of the letter. Reducing repetitive phrases would also improve coherence. Structural changes made include improving the introduction and body paragraphs for clarity and flow, as well as correcting grammatical errors and enhancing vocabulary. Transition phrases were added to improve coherence between paragraphs. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include using a wider range of vocabulary and more complex sentence structures to demonstrate a higher level of language proficiency. Additionally, varying the expressions of sadness and gratitude could further enhance the emotional tone of the letter. Overall, the tone used is appropriate for a personal letter, maintaining a balance between formality and friendliness.
Detailed Scores
What this means:
The letter has a logical structure, but there are some repetitive phrases and a lack of varied cohesive devices. For example, the phrase 'I cannot attend your birthday party' is repeated multiple times. Using synonyms or varying the sentence structure could improve coherence.
How to improve:
- Use a clear paragraph structure
- Connect ideas with appropriate linking words
- Maintain logical progression
- Use referencing effectively
What this means:
There are several grammatical errors, including incorrect verb forms and sentence structures (e.g., 'I must to see them' should be 'I must see them'). While the meaning is generally clear, these errors detract from the overall quality. Improving grammatical accuracy and using a wider range of sentence structures would raise the score.
How to improve:
- Use complex sentence structures
- Maintain grammatical accuracy
- Use a variety of sentence patterns
- Check for common grammar errors
What this means:
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are several instances of incorrect word forms (e.g., 'importanted' should be 'important', 'sadness' should be 'sad'). Additionally, the use of phrases like 'I am very grateful for your invite' is somewhat informal. A wider range of vocabulary and more precise word choices would enhance the letter.
How to improve:
- Use a wider range of vocabulary
- Demonstrate awareness of collocations
- Avoid word repetition
- Use more sophisticated vocabulary accurately
What this means:
The letter addresses all parts of the task: it thanks the friend for the invitation, explains the reason for not attending, and suggests a future meeting. However, the explanation for not attending could be more detailed, and the tone could be slightly more polished to enhance the overall effectiveness.
How to improve:
- Address all parts of the task fully
- Support ideas with specific examples
- Develop each point thoroughly
- Stay relevant to the topic
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