You have been living in a rental apartment for the past year. Recently a new neighbour moved in and has been making a lot of noise, which disturbs you. Write a letter to the landlord. In your letter: explain the situation describe why it bothers you suggest a solution
Sample Essay with Corrections
Expert Feedback
Key strengths of the essay include a clear explanation of the situation and a polite request for action, which effectively addresses the task requirements. The letter maintains a logical structure, making it easy to follow. Critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, particularly with subject-verb agreement and the use of articles. Additionally, enhancing the variety of vocabulary would improve the lexical resource score. The flow between discussing the noise and its impact could be improved with better transitions. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, adding necessary articles, and improving the flow of ideas. Transition phrases were added to enhance coherence. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include using more varied vocabulary to avoid repetition and incorporating more complex sentence structures to demonstrate a wider grammatical range. The tone used is generally appropriate for a letter to a landlord, being polite and formal. However, a slightly more formal tone could be adopted in some areas to enhance professionalism.
Detailed Scores
What this means:
The letter is generally coherent and follows a logical structure. However, some sentences could be better linked to enhance the flow. For example, the transition between discussing the noise and its impact could be smoother. Using more cohesive devices would improve the overall clarity.
How to improve:
- Use a clear paragraph structure
- Connect ideas with appropriate linking words
- Maintain logical progression
- Use referencing effectively
What this means:
The letter contains several grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement ('neighbor make' should be 'neighbor makes') and missing articles ('in apartment' should be 'in the apartment'). While the meaning is clear, these errors detract from the overall accuracy. More complex sentence structures could also be employed to demonstrate a wider grammatical range.
How to improve:
- Use complex sentence structures
- Maintain grammatical accuracy
- Use a variety of sentence patterns
- Check for common grammar errors
What this means:
The vocabulary used is appropriate for the context, but there are some repetitive phrases, such as 'noisy' and 'noise.' To enhance the lexical resource, the writer could use synonyms or more varied expressions, such as 'disturbance' or 'racket.'
How to improve:
- Use a wider range of vocabulary
- Demonstrate awareness of collocations
- Avoid word repetition
- Use more sophisticated vocabulary accurately
What this means:
The letter addresses the task requirements by explaining the situation, describing why it bothers the writer, and suggesting a solution. However, it could be improved by providing more specific details about the noise and its impact on the writer's life, as well as a more formal tone in some areas.
How to improve:
- Address all parts of the task fully
- Support ideas with specific examples
- Develop each point thoroughly
- Stay relevant to the topic
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