You have received a letter from your bank asking you to acknowledge receipt of a new bank card. However, the card was missing from the envelope. Write a letter to the bank's head office. In your letter: Explain why you are writing Express concern about the missing card Ask them what they intend to do Write at least 150 words.

Part 2
7.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to you regarding the letter that iI recently received from your bank, which asked me to acknowledge receipt of a new bank card. However, when I opened the envelope, I discovered that the card was not inside as it should have been. This situation has caused me a great deal of concern and worry. Without the new card, I am unable to access my account or make any transactions, which is highly inconvenient and problematic for me. I am very troubled by the fact that my personal financial information and the new card may have been lost or stolen in transit. I would like to request that you please investigate this matter urgently and let me know what steps you plan to take to rectify this situation. Will you be able to cancel the missing card and issue me a new one promptly? I would appreciate it if you could update me on your intended course of action as soon as possible. I look forward to hearing back from you soon and hope that we can resolve this concerning situation quickly. Please do not hesitate to contact me if you require any further information from my side. Yours faithfully, [Your Name]
DeletedOriginal textAddedCorrected text

Expert Feedback

The essay demonstrates several strengths, including a clear structure and appropriate tone for a formal letter. The writer effectively addresses the task by stating the reason for writing, expressing concern, and requesting action from the bank. However, there are critical areas for improvement, such as correcting minor grammatical errors and reducing repetition in vocabulary. The structural changes made include correcting the lowercase 'i' to 'I' and adding 'a' before 'new bank card' for clarity. Additionally, the phrase 'I would appreciate if you could update me' was corrected to 'I would appreciate it if you could update me.' For further improvements, the writer could include specific details such as the date of the letter received or account information for easier reference. Overall, the tone is formal and appropriate for the context.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The letter is well-organized, with a logical flow of ideas. Each paragraph serves a clear purpose, and cohesive devices are used effectively to link sentences and ideas. For instance, phrases like 'However' and 'This situation has caused me' help in maintaining coherence. Minor improvements could include varying the sentence structure to enhance the overall fluency.
8.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The letter demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures, with mostly accurate usage. There are minor errors, such as the lowercase 'i' in 'i recently received,' which detracts from the overall professionalism of the letter. Additionally, the phrase 'I would appreciate if you could update me' should be 'I would appreciate it if you could update me.' Addressing these errors would improve the score.
7.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is appropriate and conveys the message clearly. Phrases like 'highly inconvenient' and 'rectify this situation' demonstrate a good range of vocabulary. However, there is some repetition of words such as 'card' and 'situation.' To enhance the score, the writer could incorporate synonyms or more varied expressions.
7.5
Task Achievement
The letter effectively addresses all parts of the task. It clearly states the reason for writing, expresses concern about the missing card, and asks what the bank intends to do. The tone is appropriate for a formal letter, and the ideas are well-developed. To improve further, the writer could include specific details such as the date of the letter received or account information for easier reference.
8.0

Related Writing Samples

Part 2
5.0

Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on individuals and society. To what extent do you agree?

Part 2
6.5

Whether or not someone achieves their aims is mostly a question of luck. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Part 2
8.0

We have become a disposable society, preferring to buy new products rather than fixing existing items. What are the causes of this trend and what are the possible solutions?

Part 2
5.5

The tendency that news reports in media focus on problems and emergencies rather than on positive developments is harmful for individuals and the society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Part 2
7.0

Today single-use products are still very common. Why is this? What are the problems associated with this?

Part 2
6.5

In the future, more people will choose to go on holiday in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday. Do you agree or disagree?