You have received an invitation from an English-speaking friend to attend his birthday party. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: thank your friend for the invitation explain why you will not be able to attend suggest another time when you could meet
Sample Essay with Corrections
Expert Feedback
The letter demonstrates a clear understanding of the task requirements, addressing the invitation, providing a reason for absence, and suggesting an alternative meeting time. Key strengths include the overall structure and the expression of a desire to celebrate together. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, coherence, and the use of more formal language. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving sentence clarity, and enhancing the overall tone to be more formal. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented include varying sentence structures and expanding vocabulary to avoid repetition. The tone used is now more appropriate for a formal letter, maintaining a friendly yet respectful approach.
Detailed Scores
What this means:
The letter has a logical structure, but some sentences are awkwardly constructed, which affects the overall flow. For example, 'I must to staying with her' is unclear. To improve coherence, the writer could use clearer transitions between ideas and ensure that each sentence logically follows the previous one.
How to improve:
- Use a clear paragraph structure
- Connect ideas with appropriate linking words
- Maintain logical progression
- Use referencing effectively
What this means:
There are multiple grammatical errors, such as 'I am already have a previous plan' and 'My brother wife will getting baby.' These errors detract from the clarity of the message. To improve, the writer should focus on using correct verb forms and sentence structures, ensuring that they convey their ideas accurately.
How to improve:
- Use complex sentence structures
- Maintain grammatical accuracy
- Use a variety of sentence patterns
- Check for common grammar errors
What this means:
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are several instances of repetition and informal language, such as 'u' instead of 'you' and 'birth day' instead of 'birthday.' The writer could enhance their lexical resource by using a wider range of vocabulary and avoiding informal abbreviations.
How to improve:
- Use a wider range of vocabulary
- Demonstrate awareness of collocations
- Avoid word repetition
- Use more sophisticated vocabulary accurately
What this means:
The letter addresses all parts of the task: it thanks the friend for the invitation, explains the reason for not attending, and suggests an alternative meeting time. However, the explanation could be clearer and more concise. For improvement, the writer could provide a more specific reason for the prior commitment and ensure that the tone remains formal throughout.
How to improve:
- Address all parts of the task fully
- Support ideas with specific examples
- Develop each point thoroughly
- Stay relevant to the topic
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