You have recently left something on a train. Write a letter to the manager of the lost and found department and specify: when you lost it describe the object you have left tell the manager what you want them to do with it

Part 1 (General)
7.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

Dear Manager of the Lost and Found Department, I am writing you this letter to inform you that I have left something ion the train recently. It was on the last Monday, the 15th of May, when I travelled by the morning train from my city to the capital. The train was leavingdeparted at 8:30 AM, and I was sitting in the carriage number 5, near the window. The object that I forgot inon the train is my laptop. It is a new silver MacbBook Air, with a 13-inch screen size. It has a small dent on the top right corner of the screen, which is the only way to recognizse it as miney laptop. The laptop is quite expensive and havecontains a lot of important files and documents for my work and study, so I am very worryied about losing it. I would be very grateful if you could check ifwhether someone has found my laptop and gavehanded it to the Lost and Found department. If you have it, please let me know as soon as possible so I can come and collect it. You can contact me by email at john.smith@email.com or by phone numberat 123-456-789. Thank you very much for your time and consideration. I will look forward to hearing from you soon. Your Ss sincerely, John Smith
DeletedOriginal textAddedCorrected text

Expert Feedback

Key strengths of the essay include a clear structure and a good level of detail regarding the lost item. The letter effectively addresses all parts of the task prompt, including the description of the item and a request for action. Critical areas for improvement include enhancing the formality of the tone, correcting grammatical errors, and improving coherence through better transitions. The phrase 'I am writing you this letter' was changed to 'I am writing to inform you' to adopt a more formal tone. Additionally, the transition between describing the object and the request was smoothed out for better flow. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors and ensuring proper use of vocabulary, such as changing 'mine laptop' to 'my laptop' and 'have a lot of important files' to 'contains a lot of important files'. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include varying the vocabulary used for 'laptop' and 'train' to avoid repetition and incorporating more sophisticated language to elevate the writing further. The tone used is generally appropriate for a formal letter, but slight adjustments were made to enhance its formality.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The letter is generally well-organized, with a clear progression of ideas. However, some sentences could be better linked for improved flow. For example, the transition between describing the object and the request could be smoother. Using more cohesive devices would enhance clarity.
7.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The letter contains several grammatical errors, such as 'have a lot of important files' instead of 'has a lot of important files' and 'my laptop' instead of 'mine laptop'. These errors affect clarity but do not significantly impede understanding. A wider range of sentence structures could also improve the score.
6.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is appropriate for the context, with some good choices like 'grateful' and 'consideration'. However, there are instances of repetition, such as 'laptop' and 'train', which could be varied. More sophisticated vocabulary could elevate the writing further.
7.5
Task Achievement
The letter addresses all parts of the task prompt, including when the item was lost, a description of the object, and a request for action. However, the tone could be slightly more formal, and there are minor inconsistencies in the phrasing, such as 'I am writing you this letter' which could be improved to 'I am writing to inform you'.
7.5

Related Writing Samples

Part 1 (General)
5.5

Your ID card has been stolen. Write to the Local Police Station, giving details of: - who you are - what happened - ask what you should do to get a new ID card

Part 1 (General)
7.0

The graphs below show the cinema attendance in Australia and the average cinema visits by different age groups from 1996 to 2000. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons.

Part 1 (General)
7.0

A large company in your area has decided to spend a certain amount of money, either to sponsor a local children's sports team for two years or to pay for two open air concerts. It has asked for feedback from the general public. Write a letter to the company. In your letter: Describe the benefits of sponsoring the sports team. Summarise the benefits of paying for the concerts. Say how you think the company should spend the money.

Part 1 (General)
6.0

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or negative development?

Part 1 (General)
7.0

You and your teenage daughter visited the local library last weekend to find books for her school project. After searching for some time, you realized that the library did not have any books on the subject. This is not the first time that the library did not have something you need. Write a letter to the library manager: Describe what you were trying to find Explain why you needed the book and how you tried to find it Suggest what the library can do to help you find the information you need

Part 1 (General)
7.5

Last month you had a holiday overseas where you stayed with some friends. They have just sent you some photos of your holiday. Write a letter to your friends. In your letter: thank them for the photos and for the holiday explain why you didn't write earlier invite them to come and stay with you