You recently attended a job interview and were offered a position at a company. Write a letter to the company's HR department accepting the job offer, expressing your gratitude, and providing any necessary information or documents requested. In your letter: Begin by thanking the HR department for offering you the job. Confirm your acceptance of the job offer and mention the position you have been offered. Provide any additional information or documents requested by the company, such as identification proof, references, or certifications. Express your enthusiasm about joining the company and your willingness to contribute to its success.

Part 1 (General)
7.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

Dear Sir or Madam HR department, Firstly, iI want to say very big thank youould like to express my sincere gratitude for offering me the job at your esteemed company. It means a lotgreat deal to me that you have considered my application in a positive way and decided to provide me this amazingwith this wonderful opportunity to join your team. I am writing to confirm that Yes, iI gladly accept the position of Marketing cCoordinator that was offered to me during the interview. I am extremely excited to begin my new role at the company and look forward to contributing my skills and experience to help the company become moreachieve greater successful. As per our discussion, I am attaching here my identification proof, reference letters from my previous employer, and also the marketing certifications which iI recently completed recently. Please let me know if you needrequire any other documents or informations from my side. Once again, thank you sovery much for the job offer. I cannot wait to join the company and work with the amazing team. I promise to work very hardly and bring all my knowledge and skills to help the company achieve it's goals and become a leader in the industry. y Yours Ffaithfully, [Name]
DeletedOriginal textAddedCorrected text

Expert Feedback

Key strengths of the essay include a clear structure that effectively addresses the task, expressing gratitude, confirming acceptance, and providing necessary documents. The tone is generally appropriate, though it could be slightly more formal. Critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, particularly with personal pronouns and possessive forms, as well as enhancing vocabulary variety to avoid repetition. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving the formality of language, and ensuring cohesive transitions between ideas. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include varying sentence structures and incorporating more sophisticated vocabulary. Overall, the tone is suitable for a professional letter, but a more formal approach could enhance the impression.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The letter is generally coherent and logically structured, with clear progression from gratitude to acceptance and additional information. However, some sentences could be better linked for smoother flow, such as using cohesive devices to connect ideas more effectively.
7.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
While the letter demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures, there are several grammatical errors, such as 'i' instead of 'I', 'hardly' instead of 'hard', and 'it's' instead of 'its'. These errors detract from the overall professionalism of the letter. Improving accuracy in these areas would raise the score.
6.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is appropriate for the context, with phrases like 'esteemed company' and 'amazing opportunity'. However, there are instances of repetition, such as 'thank you' and 'company', which could be varied. More sophisticated vocabulary could enhance the overall quality.
7.0
Task Achievement
The letter effectively addresses the task by thanking the HR department, confirming acceptance of the job offer, and providing the necessary documents. However, the tone could be slightly more formal, and there are minor inconsistencies in the phrasing, such as 'very big thank you' which could be improved to 'sincere gratitude'.
7.5

Related Writing Samples

Part 1 (General)
5.5

Your ID card has been stolen. Write to the Local Police Station, giving details of: - who you are - what happened - ask what you should do to get a new ID card

Part 1 (General)
7.0

The graphs below show the cinema attendance in Australia and the average cinema visits by different age groups from 1996 to 2000. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons.

Part 1 (General)
7.0

A large company in your area has decided to spend a certain amount of money, either to sponsor a local children's sports team for two years or to pay for two open air concerts. It has asked for feedback from the general public. Write a letter to the company. In your letter: Describe the benefits of sponsoring the sports team. Summarise the benefits of paying for the concerts. Say how you think the company should spend the money.

Part 1 (General)
6.0

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or negative development?

Part 1 (General)
7.0

You and your teenage daughter visited the local library last weekend to find books for her school project. After searching for some time, you realized that the library did not have any books on the subject. This is not the first time that the library did not have something you need. Write a letter to the library manager: Describe what you were trying to find Explain why you needed the book and how you tried to find it Suggest what the library can do to help you find the information you need

Part 1 (General)
7.5

Last month you had a holiday overseas where you stayed with some friends. They have just sent you some photos of your holiday. Write a letter to your friends. In your letter: thank them for the photos and for the holiday explain why you didn't write earlier invite them to come and stay with you