You recently attended a meeting at a hotel. When you returned home, you found you had left some important papers at the hotel. Write a letter to the manager of the hotel. In your letter, say where you think you left the papers explain why they are so important tell the manager what you want him/her to do
Sample Essay with Corrections
Expert Feedback
The letter demonstrates a clear understanding of the task requirements, effectively stating the issue and requesting assistance from the hotel manager. Key strengths include a logical flow of ideas and a clear explanation of the importance of the papers. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, formal tone, and coherence. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, enhancing clarity in sentence construction, and improving the overall formality of the language used. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include varying vocabulary to avoid repetition and using more formal expressions. The tone is now more appropriate for a formal letter, aligning with the expectations of the task.
Detailed Scores
What this means:
The letter has a logical flow, but some sentences are awkwardly constructed, which affects clarity. For example, 'I believe that I may have left these papers on the meeting room table or maybe in the lobby area where I was sit for some time before the meeting' could be simplified for better coherence. Using clearer transitions between ideas would enhance cohesion.
How to improve:
- Use a clear paragraph structure
- Connect ideas with appropriate linking words
- Maintain logical progression
- Use referencing effectively
What this means:
There are several grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement ('I have forget' should be 'I have forgotten') and incorrect article usage ('this papers' should be 'these papers'). While the writer demonstrates some range, the errors detract from overall clarity. To improve, the writer should focus on proofreading for grammatical accuracy.
How to improve:
- Use complex sentence structures
- Maintain grammatical accuracy
- Use a variety of sentence patterns
- Check for common grammar errors
What this means:
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are instances of repetition (e.g., 'important papers' and 'very important'). Additionally, some phrases are awkward, such as 'I have forget' and 'this papers.' To improve, the writer could use synonyms and more varied expressions to convey urgency and importance.
How to improve:
- Use a wider range of vocabulary
- Demonstrate awareness of collocations
- Avoid word repetition
- Use more sophisticated vocabulary accurately
What this means:
The letter addresses the task requirements by stating where the papers were likely left, explaining their importance, and requesting action from the manager. However, the tone could be more formal, and there are some minor inconsistencies in the explanation of the importance of the papers. To improve, the writer could clarify the urgency and provide a more structured request.
How to improve:
- Address all parts of the task fully
- Support ideas with specific examples
- Develop each point thoroughly
- Stay relevant to the topic
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