You recently had a car accident. You were not injured, but your car was damaged. Write a letter to your insurance company. In your letter: Introduce yourself and describe the accident. Detail the damage to your car. Explain why you need your car repaired quickly. Write at least 150 words. You do not need to write any addresses. Begin your letter with: Dear Sir or Madam
Sample Essay with Corrections
Expert Feedback
Key strengths of the essay include a clear structure, appropriate tone for a formal letter, and effective communication of the urgency of the situation. The writer successfully addresses all parts of the task prompt and provides a detailed description of the accident. Critical areas for improvement include the need for more varied linking phrases to enhance coherence and the use of synonyms to avoid repetition of the word 'car.' Additionally, correcting minor grammatical errors, such as the lowercase 'i,' is essential for professionalism. Structural changes made include the addition of the specific time of the accident to provide more detail and the replacement of 'car' with 'vehicle' and 'automobile' to enhance lexical variety. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include incorporating more varied cohesive devices and ensuring consistent use of synonyms throughout the letter. The tone used is appropriate for a formal letter, maintaining professionalism and clarity throughout the communication.
Detailed Scores
What this means:
The letter is well-organized, with a logical flow of ideas. Each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, and cohesive devices are used effectively, such as 'Additionally' and 'It is imperative.' To enhance coherence, the writer could use more varied linking phrases to connect ideas.
How to improve:
- Use a clear paragraph structure
- Connect ideas with appropriate linking words
- Maintain logical progression
- Use referencing effectively
What this means:
The letter demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures, with mostly accurate usage. There are minor errors, such as the lowercase 'i' in 'i recently had,' which detracts from the overall professionalism. To achieve a higher score, the writer should ensure all grammatical elements are correct and maintain consistent capitalization.
How to improve:
- Use complex sentence structures
- Maintain grammatical accuracy
- Use a variety of sentence patterns
- Check for common grammar errors
What this means:
The vocabulary used is appropriate and varied, with terms like 'sustained significant damage' and 'expedite the claims process' demonstrating a good range. However, there is some repetition of the word 'car.' To improve, the writer could use synonyms or phrases like 'vehicle' or 'automobile' to enhance lexical variety.
How to improve:
- Use a wider range of vocabulary
- Demonstrate awareness of collocations
- Avoid word repetition
- Use more sophisticated vocabulary accurately
What this means:
The letter effectively addresses all parts of the task prompt, providing a clear introduction, a detailed description of the accident, and a compelling explanation for the urgency of the repairs. The tone is appropriate for a formal letter to an insurance company. To improve further, the writer could include specific details about the date and time of the accident.
How to improve:
- Address all parts of the task fully
- Support ideas with specific examples
- Develop each point thoroughly
- Stay relevant to the topic
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