You recently lost an important item on a trip. Write a letter to the lost and found department of the place you were staying. In your letter: - Describe the item you lost - Explain where you think you may have lost it - Tell them what you would like them to do if they find it
Sample Essay with Corrections
Expert Feedback
The letter effectively communicates the necessary information regarding the lost wristwatch, addressing all parts of the task. Key strengths include a clear structure and appropriate tone for a formal letter. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, particularly with spelling errors and sentence structure. The transition between the description of the watch and the explanation of where it was lost has been improved by adding 'Additionally' for better flow. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented include providing more specific details about the watch, such as its brand or unique features, which would aid in identification. Overall, the tone is appropriate for the context, maintaining a polite and formal style throughout.
Detailed Scores
What this means:
The letter is generally well-organized, with a clear progression of ideas. However, some sentences could be better linked for improved flow. For example, the transition between the description of the item and the explanation of where it was lost could be smoother. Using cohesive devices like 'Furthermore' or 'Additionally' could enhance the coherence.
How to improve:
- Use a clear paragraph structure
- Connect ideas with appropriate linking words
- Maintain logical progression
- Use referencing effectively
What this means:
The letter contains several grammatical errors, such as 'sentimetal' instead of 'sentimental,' 'restaurent' instead of 'restaurant,' and 'the any shipping cost' instead of 'any shipping costs.' These errors affect the overall accuracy, but the meaning is still clear. To improve, the writer should proofread for spelling and grammatical mistakes.
How to improve:
- Use complex sentence structures
- Maintain grammatical accuracy
- Use a variety of sentence patterns
- Check for common grammar errors
What this means:
The vocabulary used is appropriate for the context, with phrases like 'sentimental value' and 'contact me as soon as possible' demonstrating a good range. However, there are some repetitive words, such as 'watch' and 'lost,' which could be varied. Using synonyms or rephrasing could enhance the lexical resource.
How to improve:
- Use a wider range of vocabulary
- Demonstrate awareness of collocations
- Avoid word repetition
- Use more sophisticated vocabulary accurately
What this means:
The letter effectively addresses all parts of the task by describing the lost item, explaining where it may have been lost, and stating what the writer would like the lost and found department to do. However, the letter could be improved by providing a more detailed description of the watch, such as its brand or any unique features, which would help in identifying it.
How to improve:
- Address all parts of the task fully
- Support ideas with specific examples
- Develop each point thoroughly
- Stay relevant to the topic
Related Writing Samples
You eat at your college cafeteria every lunch time. However, you think it needs some improvements. Write a letter to the college magazine. In your letter, explain what you like about the cafeteria say what is wrong with it suggest how it could be improved
The graph below shows average carbon dioxide (CO2) emissions per person in the United Kingdom, Sweden, Italy and Portugal between 1967 and 2007. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The pie charts show the destination of export goods in three countries in 2010.
The chart below shows the expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2010.
"Violence in playgrounds is increasing. However, it is important that parents should teach children not to hit back at bullies."