You recently received an offer for a full-time job as a security guard. Write a letter to the company. In your letter: thank them for the job offer explain why you are interested in this position say when you would be available to start work

Part 1 (General)
5.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

Dear Sir or Madam, I greatly appreciates you for the oppuortunity to work at your company as a security guard in a full-time jobposition. This letter serves to express minesy gratitude and provides additional informations regardings my interests and availlability. Firstly, I would likes to sincerely thanking you for offering me theseis position. It is thean honour to be considered for a role at such a reputable organization. The job aligns perfectly with my career goals, and iI am excited about the potentials to contribute to the success of the company. I am very interestinged in this job because it matches my skills and experiences. As you can sawee on my resume, I have previously worked as a security officer for 3three years at a local mall. During thoseat time, I gained valuable knowledge about maintaining a safe environment and dealing with various situations. I believes these experiences make me well-suited for a position at your company. Additionally, iI am passionate about providing a high level of customer services. In my previous roles, I always strived to be helpful and courteous to everyone I interacted with, whether they were employees, customers, or visitors. I understands the importance of creating a positive impression and ensuring peoples feel welcome and secure. In terms of my availlability, I am ready to started work immediately. I have already completed my notice period at my current job and can join your team as soon as possible. I am flexibilityle with my schedule and willing to work any shifts required, including nights and weekends. Thank you again for theseis exciting oppuortunity. I am eager to hear back from you and discuss the next steps in the hiring process. Please let me know if you need any additional informations or have any question.s. Sincerely, [Your Name]
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Expert Feedback

Key strengths of the essay include a clear structure that addresses all parts of the task, as well as a logical flow of ideas. The writer expresses gratitude and interest in the position effectively. Critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, particularly with subject-verb agreement and verb forms, as well as spelling errors that detract from the professionalism of the letter. The tone could also be more formal in certain areas. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving sentence structure for clarity, and ensuring proper spelling throughout the letter. Transition phrases were also adjusted to enhance coherence. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include varying sentence structures more significantly and incorporating a wider range of vocabulary to avoid repetition. Additionally, the writer could benefit from a more formal closing statement. The tone used is generally appropriate for a job application letter, but it could be enhanced by using more formal language in certain phrases to align with professional standards.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The letter is generally coherent, with a logical flow of ideas. However, some sentences are awkwardly constructed, which affects clarity. For example, 'I would likes to sincerely thanking you' should be revised for grammatical accuracy. Using clearer transitions between ideas could enhance cohesion. Improving sentence structure and linking phrases would help achieve a higher score.
6.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The letter contains numerous grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues and incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'I believes', 'I am flexibility'). These errors affect the clarity and professionalism of the writing. To improve, the writer should review basic grammar rules and practice constructing sentences with correct subject-verb agreement and verb tenses.
5.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is appropriate for the context, but there are several spelling errors (e.g., 'oppurtunity', 'informations', 'availlability') that undermine the overall impression. While there is some variety in word choice, the presence of repetitive phrases like 'I am' could be reduced. To improve, the writer should focus on using a wider range of vocabulary and ensuring correct spelling.
5.5
Task Achievement
The letter addresses all parts of the task: it thanks the company for the job offer, explains the interest in the position, and states availability to start work. However, the tone could be more formal, and there are several grammatical errors that detract from the overall effectiveness. To improve, the writer should focus on using a more formal tone and correcting grammatical mistakes.
6.0

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