You recently saw an advertisement asking for volunteers at a local hospital. You would like to become a volunteer. Write a letter to the hospital. In your letter: explain why you would like to become a volunteer describe the skills and experience you have that would help you be a good volunteer indicate your availability for volunteer work

Part 1 (Academic)
5.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

Dear Sir or Madam, I I am writeing to you regarding the advertisement I recently sawed, which asks for volunteers at your hospital. I hasve always been interested ofin working in the healthcare field, and I beliefve that volunteering at the hospital would be a great opportunity to gain experience and givinge back to the community simultaneous.ly. As a student who are pursuitng a degree in biology, I hasve developed many skills that would makes me a good volunteer. For exeample, I have strong attentions to detail from my laboratory work, which requires precise measuremients and careful observation. Also I havedditionally, I possess interpersonneal skills from group projects where I must collaborated with others to complete tasks and solve problems as a team. My coursework in anatomy and physiology has givedn me knowledge of the human body that could be helpful in a hospital setting. In terms of availability, I hasve a flexible schedule as a student. I am willing to dedicated at least 10 hours per week to volunteer at the hospital, on weekdays or weekends. I can starts as soon as necessary and am committed to volunteering for at least 6 months continuaously. Thank you for considering my request to become a volunteer. I look forward to the opportunity to contribute to the hospital and assistt patients and staff in any way I can. Please does not hesitate to contact me if you need any additional informations. Yours sincerely, [Name]
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Expert Feedback

The letter demonstrates a clear intention to volunteer and outlines relevant skills and availability, which are key strengths. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, spelling, and coherence. The structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving sentence clarity, and enhancing the overall flow of ideas. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include providing specific examples of how the skills would directly benefit the hospital and using a wider variety of vocabulary to avoid repetition. The tone used is appropriate for a formal letter, maintaining politeness and professionalism throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The letter has a logical structure, but the flow of ideas could be improved. Some sentences are awkwardly constructed, which affects clarity. For instance, 'I has always been interested of working in healthcare field' could be rephrased for better coherence. Using more cohesive devices, such as 'Furthermore' or 'In addition,' could enhance the connection between ideas.
5.5
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The letter contains numerous grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('I has,' 'ask for volunteer'), incorrect verb forms ('gived,' 'starts'), and awkward constructions. These errors detract from the overall clarity and professionalism of the letter. To improve, the writer should focus on proofreading for grammatical accuracy and varying sentence structures.
4.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are several spelling errors (e.g., 'sawed,' 'oportunity,' 'interpersonnel') and awkward phrases (e.g., 'I has always been interested of'). The writer demonstrates some range but relies on repetitive phrases like 'I have' and 'I has.' To improve, the writer should focus on using a wider variety of vocabulary and ensuring correct spelling.
5.0
Task Achievement
The letter addresses the task requirements by explaining the desire to volunteer, describing relevant skills and experience, and indicating availability. However, there are some minor inconsistencies in the expression of ideas, such as 'giving back to the community simultaneous,' which could be clearer. To improve, the writer could provide more specific examples of how their skills would directly benefit the hospital.
6.0

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