You recently stayed in a hotel in a large city. The weather was very unusual for the time of year and the heating / cooling system in the hotel was quite inadequate. Write a letter to the manager of the hotel. In your letter: give details of what went wrong explain what you had to do to overcome the problem at the time say what action you would like the manager to take

Part 1 (General)
8.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to you regarding my recent stay at your hotel located in the big city. The purpose of my visit was for a business trip, and I had booked a room for 3 nights from the 10th to the 13th of November. During my stay, I experienced some problems with the heating and cooling system in my room. The weather outside was unusually cold for this time of year, but the heating in the room was not workfunctioning properly. Even after adjusting the thermostat to the highest setting, the room still felt very chilly and uncomfortable. As a result, I had difficulty sleeping at night due to the cold temperature. To try to overcome this problem, I had to request extra blankets from the housekeeping staff. While the extra blankets helped somewhat, the room was still colder than it should have been. I also triattempted to use the small portable heater that was provided in the room, but it did not seem to make much difference. I understand that unusual weather can sometimes cause issues with heating and cooling systems. However, I believe that the hotel should have been better equipped to handle such situations. I would appreciate it if you could look into this matter and take the necessary action to ensure that the heating and cooling systems are functioning properly. It would also be helpful if the hotel could provide additional portable heaters for guests to use in case of similar situations in the future. Thank you for your attention to this matter. I look forward to your response and hope that you will take appropriate action to address this issue. Sincerely, [Your Name]
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Expert Feedback

Key strengths of the essay include a clear structure, appropriate tone, and effective communication of the issues faced during the stay. The letter addresses all parts of the task and provides relevant details about the problems encountered. Critical areas for improvement include reducing repetitive phrases and ensuring grammatical accuracy, such as correcting 'for business trip' to 'for a business trip.' Additionally, varying the vocabulary related to heating systems could enhance the lexical resource. Structural changes made include correcting minor grammatical errors and improving the flow by slightly rephrasing sentences for clarity. The overall organization remains intact, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs detailing the issues, and a conclusion summarizing the request for action. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include incorporating more varied vocabulary and expressions to avoid repetition, as well as providing a more detailed overview of the impact of the heating issues on the overall experience. The tone used is appropriate for a formal letter, maintaining professionalism while clearly expressing concerns and requests.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The letter is well-organized, with a clear progression of ideas. Each paragraph logically follows from the previous one, and cohesive devices are used effectively to link ideas. For example, phrases like 'As a result' and 'However' help to connect thoughts smoothly.
8.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The letter demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures, with mostly accurate usage. There are minor errors, such as 'for business trip' which should be 'for a business trip,' but these do not significantly impede understanding. Overall, the grammatical accuracy is strong.
8.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate and varied, with phrases like 'unusually cold' and 'necessary action' demonstrating a good range. However, there are some repetitive phrases, such as 'heating and cooling system,' which could be varied further to enhance the lexical resource.
7.5
Task Achievement
The letter effectively addresses all parts of the task by detailing the issues with the heating system, explaining the steps taken to mitigate the problem, and clearly stating the desired action from the manager. The tone is appropriate for a formal letter, and the content is relevant and well-developed.
8.0

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