You recently stayed in a hotel in a large city. The weather was very unusual for the time of year and the heating/cooling system in the hotel was quite inadequate. Write a letter to the manager of the hotel. In your letter: - give details of what was wrong - explain what you had to do to overcome the problem at the time - say what action you would like the manager to take

Part 1 (General)
6.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

Dear Mr. Manager, I am writing to you to complaint about my recent stay at your hotel in the big citymetropolitan area last week. The wheather was very strange for that time of year,; it was much more colder than usual. Because of this, I was expecting the hotel to be nice and warm inside. However, this was not the case. When I arrived ato my room, I found that the heating system was not working properly. It was barely putting out any hot air at all. I tryied to adjust the temperature setting on the control panel, but it made no differentce. The room remained quite chilly throughout my entire stay. To try to deal with this problem, I had to request extra blankets from the hotel staff. They brought me additional blankets, but it was still not enough to make the room comfortable. I had to sleep in my clothes some nights just to stay warm enough. It, which was a very unpleasant experience. I believe that this issue with the heating siystem needs to be addressed. I would like you to please have someone check the heating in that room and repair it if necessary. Furthermore, I would also like to request a partial refund for my stay, since I did not receive the level of comfort that I paid for. Thank you for your attention to this matter. I hope to hear back from you soon regarding my refund request. Sincerely, [Your Name]
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Expert Feedback

The letter effectively addresses the task requirements by detailing the issues with the heating system, explaining the actions taken to cope with the problem, and requesting specific actions from the manager. Key strengths include a clear identification of the problem and a polite request for resolution. However, critical areas for improvement include enhancing the formality of the tone and improving grammatical accuracy. Structural changes made include separating the issues and requests into distinct paragraphs for better clarity and coherence. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include varying the vocabulary further to avoid repetition and using more sophisticated phrases. The tone used is generally appropriate, but a more formal approach could enhance the overall professionalism of the letter.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The letter generally flows well, but there are some areas where coherence could be improved. For example, the transition between describing the problem and the actions taken could be smoother. Using more cohesive devices, such as 'Furthermore' or 'In addition,' would enhance the clarity of the progression of ideas.
6.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
There are several grammatical errors, including incorrect verb forms ('try' should be 'tried') and issues with subject-verb agreement ('the heating system was not working proper' should be 'properly'). These errors affect the overall clarity of the writing. However, the writer demonstrates some range in sentence structures, which helps convey the message.
5.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is mostly appropriate, but there are some errors, such as 'complaint' instead of 'complain' and 'whether' instead of 'weather.' Additionally, phrases like 'big city' could be replaced with more sophisticated alternatives, such as 'metropolitan area.' There is some repetition of words like 'room' and 'heating,' which could be varied for better lexical range.
6.0
Task Achievement
The letter addresses the task requirements by detailing the issues with the heating system, explaining the actions taken to cope with the problem, and requesting specific actions from the manager. However, the tone could be more formal, and the letter could benefit from a clearer structure, such as separating the issues and requests into distinct paragraphs.
6.5

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