You recently visited the city museum. Write a review about it for a local tourism website. Mention: what you thought about the displays and the café how easy it was to book a guided tour who you would recommend the museum to

Part 1 (General)
7.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

I am recently visited the city museum in my town. It was a very nicen exceptional experience for me and my family. The museum haves many different displays that wasere very interesting to see. There was a display aboutOne display focused on the history of our city, which I liked very much. It showparticularly enjoyed. It illustrated how the city has changed over time, and there werefeaturing many old photographs and artifacts. TFurthermore, the café in the museum was also very goodquite impressive. They served delicious coffee and pastries, and the staff were very friendly. Booking a guided tour of the museum was very easy. I simply went to the museum's website and filled out a form. The tour guide was very knowledgeable and made the tour very enjoyable. She answered all of our questions and pointed out many interesting things that we would have missed on our own. I would highly recommend the city museum to anyone who is interested in learning more about our city's history. It is a great place for families to visit, as there is something for everyone to enjoy. T In summary, the displays are well-designed and informative, and the café is a great place to relax and have a snack. Overall, I had a greatfantastic experience at the city museum and would definitely recommend it to others.
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Expert Feedback

The essay demonstrates several strengths, including a clear opinion on the museum's displays and café, as well as a recommendation for potential visitors. The organization is logical, with a good flow of ideas. However, there are critical areas for improvement, particularly in grammatical accuracy and the use of more varied vocabulary. The introduction has been made more engaging, and the conclusion now summarizes the key points more effectively. Structural changes included enhancing the introduction and conclusion for better engagement and summarization, as well as improving transitions between points with cohesive devices like 'Furthermore' and 'In summary.' For further improvements, the writer could work on using a wider range of vocabulary to avoid repetition and incorporate more complex sentence structures to enhance grammatical range. The tone used is appropriate for a personal recount, maintaining a friendly and inviting style throughout the essay.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is generally well-organized, with a logical flow of ideas. However, some sentences could be better linked to enhance coherence. For example, using more cohesive devices like 'Furthermore' or 'In addition' could improve the transitions between points.
7.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The writing contains several grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('the museum have' should be 'the museum has') and incorrect verb tenses ('I am recently visited' should be 'I recently visited'). While these errors affect clarity, the overall meaning is still understandable. More complex sentence structures could also enhance the writing.
6.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is appropriate and conveys the message effectively. However, there are some repetitive phrases, such as 'very nice' and 'very good.' To improve, the writer could use synonyms or more descriptive language, such as 'exceptional' or 'impressive.'
7.0
Task Achievement
The writing addresses all parts of the task, providing a clear opinion on the displays and café, describing the ease of booking a guided tour, and recommending the museum to a specific audience. However, the introduction could be more engaging, and the conclusion could summarize the key points more effectively.
7.5

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