You recently went to a concert and thought one of the singers was very good. You want to tell him how you feel. Write a letter to the singer. In your letter, say who you are explain why you are writing to him describe your experience at the concert and how you felt about his performance

Part 2
7.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

Dear Singer, I am writing to you because I am Priya, one of your big fans. The reason why I am writing this letter to you is becausethat I want to tell you my experience and feelings about your amazing performance at the concert which I attended last week in my hometown. I have been listening to your music sincefor many years, and I have always dreamed of attending one of your live concerts. So, when I heard that you willould be performing in my city, I immediately bought a ticket for the show. I was very excited and couldn't wait for the day to come. On the day of the concert, I arrived early at the venue and managed to get a good spot near the stage. When you finally came out on stage and started singing, I was completely blown away by your incredible voice and stage presence. Your voice was so powerful and emotional that it gave me goosebumps. I could feel every word you sang, and it touched my heart deeply. Throughout the concert, you interacted with the audience and made us feel special. You sang all of my favourite songs, including "Song Title 1" and "Song Title 2," and even performed some new ones which I had never heard before. I couldn't stop myself from singing along with you and dancing to the beat of the music. Overall, it was an unforgettable experience for me, and I want to thank you for giving me the opportunity to see you live. Your music has always been a source of inspiration and comfort for me, and seeing you perform live was a dream come true. I hope you will continue to make more amazing music and inspire people around the world with your talent. I look forward to attending more of your concerts in the future and supporting you always. Thank you again for the incredible performance and for being such an amazing artist. Yours sincerely, Priya
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively conveys the writer's admiration and experience at the concert, demonstrating a clear understanding of the task requirements. Key strengths of the essay include a heartfelt tone, a logical flow of ideas, and a well-structured format that adheres to the letter-writing conventions. The use of emotional language and personal anecdotes enhances the overall impact of the message. Critical areas for improvement involve addressing minor grammatical errors and enhancing lexical variety. The writer could benefit from incorporating more specific examples of songs performed during the concert to enrich the narrative and avoid repetition of phrases like 'amazing performance' and 'incredible voice.' Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, adding a specific example of songs performed, and improving coherence with varied linking phrases. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include using more sophisticated vocabulary and varying sentence structures to enhance the overall quality of the writing. The tone used is appropriate for a letter to a singer, maintaining a respectful and enthusiastic voice throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The letter is well-organized, with a logical flow of ideas. Each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, and cohesive devices are used effectively, such as 'On the day of concert' and 'Overall'. To enhance coherence, the writer could use more varied linking phrases to connect ideas, but overall, the structure is strong.
8.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The letter demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures, with mostly accurate usage. There are minor errors, such as 'many years' instead of 'many years ago' and 'bought ticket' instead of 'bought a ticket'. These do not significantly impede understanding, but addressing these small mistakes would improve the score. Overall, the grammatical range is adequate for the task.
7.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate and conveys the writer's feelings well. Phrases like 'blown away', 'goosebumps', and 'source of inspiration' demonstrate a good range of expression. However, there are some repetitive phrases, such as 'amazing performance' and 'incredible voice', which could be varied for a higher score. Incorporating more sophisticated vocabulary would enhance the overall quality.
7.5
Task Achievement
The letter effectively addresses all parts of the task. The writer introduces herself, explains the purpose of the letter, and describes her experience at the concert in detail. The tone is appropriate for a letter to a singer, and the message is clear and heartfelt. To improve further, the writer could include more specific examples of songs performed or moments that stood out during the concert.
8.0

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