You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. A situation has come up and you are unable to attend a meeting at work. Write a letter to your boss. In your letter: Explain why you cannot attend Apologize for not attending Suggest a solution Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear _ ,
Sample Essay with Corrections
Expert Feedback
The letter demonstrates a clear understanding of the task requirements, effectively explaining the reason for absence, offering apologies, and suggesting solutions. Key strengths include a logical flow of ideas and a respectful tone throughout the letter. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, particularly with subject-verb agreement and sentence structure, as well as enhancing lexical variety to avoid repetition and awkward phrasing. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving clarity, and ensuring a more formal tone. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include varying sentence structures more and incorporating additional cohesive devices for smoother transitions. Overall, the tone used is appropriate for a formal letter to a manager, maintaining professionalism and respect.
Detailed Scores
What this means:
The letter has a logical flow, but some sentences are awkwardly constructed, which affects clarity. The use of cohesive devices is present but could be improved. For example, using clearer transitions between ideas would enhance coherence. Phrases like 'to find solution' could be rephrased to 'to find a solution' for better clarity.
How to improve:
- Use a clear paragraph structure
- Connect ideas with appropriate linking words
- Maintain logical progression
- Use referencing effectively
What this means:
There are several grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('my father have fall sick'), incorrect verb forms, and awkward sentence structures. While the message is understandable, these errors detract from the overall quality. To improve, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement and sentence structure, ensuring that sentences are grammatically correct.
How to improve:
- Use complex sentence structures
- Maintain grammatical accuracy
- Use a variety of sentence patterns
- Check for common grammar errors
What this means:
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are instances of repetition and awkward phrasing, such as 'I so sorry' and 'my difficult situations.' To improve, the writer could use a wider range of vocabulary and idiomatic expressions, such as 'I sincerely apologize' instead of 'I so sorry.'
How to improve:
- Use a wider range of vocabulary
- Demonstrate awareness of collocations
- Avoid word repetition
- Use more sophisticated vocabulary accurately
What this means:
The letter addresses the task requirements by explaining the reason for absence, apologizing, and suggesting solutions. However, the explanation could be clearer and more concise. For improvement, the writer could provide a more structured approach to the letter, ensuring that each point is distinctly addressed.
How to improve:
- Address all parts of the task fully
- Support ideas with specific examples
- Develop each point thoroughly
- Stay relevant to the topic
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