You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The following two pie charts show the results of a survey into the popularity of various leisure activities among European adults in 1985 and 1995. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

Part 1 (Academic)
5.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

The pie graphs are showingillustrate datas about famouspopular hobbies for adults in the Europe in the years 1985 and 1995. BIn both years, there were 4four main activities that peoples enjoyed in theyir spare time. In 1985, the hobby that most popularest hobby was eating out at restraurants, atccounting for 45 percentages. The next most common past-time wereas visiting friends' houses, which occupied 25% percent. Going to clubs was lower at 15% of peoples. Minority 15% did jus percent, while a minority of 15 percent preferred staying at home. Ten years later, the leisure activity landscape have seensaw a dramatically shift. Eating in restauraunts decreased sharply to just 25%, a hugely percent, a significant drop from being almost a half before. Meanwhile, going to clubbing had as riose, grow to 35% and to 35 percent, becoming the number one hobby. Visiting mates stayed aboutfriends remained steady at one quarter. Stay home rised bit, while staying at home increased slightly from 15 to 20 percentages. So i. In summary, over this ten-years period, the favourites free-tim leisure activityies for adult Europeans changed alotconsiderably. Most noticeably, there was thea decline oin eating out and an increase for goin going to clubs. Staying at home and seevisiting friends remained more consistently over time. The reasonses for this change could be many factor likeinclude various factors such as economical and cultural shifts in the society.
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Expert Feedback

The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the task, summarizing the main features of the pie charts and making relevant comparisons. Key strengths include a structured approach and a clear overview of the changes over the ten-year period. However, critical areas for improvement include enhancing coherence and cohesion through better transitions and clearer phrasing. The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are still some spelling errors and informal phrases that could be improved for a more formal tone. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving clarity in phrasing, and ensuring proper paragraph separation. Further improvements could involve expanding on the analysis of the trends and providing more specific examples. The tone used is appropriate for an academic context, but a more formal vocabulary would enhance the overall quality.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a basic structure, but the flow of ideas is somewhat disjointed. There are instances of awkward phrasing and unclear transitions, which affect the overall coherence. For example, the phrase 'the hobby that most popularest' is unclear. To enhance coherence, the writer should use more cohesive devices and ensure logical progression between sentences.
5.5
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The writing demonstrates some grammatical range, but there are frequent errors in sentence structure and verb forms, such as 'have seen a dramatically shift' and 'stay home rised bit.' These errors hinder clarity and accuracy. To improve, the writer should focus on using correct grammatical structures and ensuring subject-verb agreement.
5.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are several instances of incorrect word forms and spelling errors, such as 'popularest,' 'restraunts,' and 'resonses.' Additionally, the use of phrases like 'going clubbing' could be more formal. To improve, the writer should focus on using a wider range of vocabulary accurately and avoid repetition.
5.0
Task Achievement
The response addresses the task by summarizing the main features of the pie charts and making some comparisons. However, it lacks clarity in presenting the data and does not fully develop the analysis of the changes over the ten-year period. To improve, the writer could provide clearer comparisons and more detailed explanations of the trends observed.
6.0

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