You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The pie charts below show the percentage of time working adults spent on different activities in a particular country in 1958 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

Part 1 (Academic)
7.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

The pie charts is showing how much time working adults in a country spend on various activities, in the years 1958 and 2008. It is clear that there have been some significant changes over the 50-year period. In 1958, the largest proportion of time, at 50%, was spent on work. sSleep accounted for just over a quarter of the day (27%), while leisure and travel made up 13% and 10% respectively. By 2008, however, the percentage of time spent on work had decreased dramatically to just 11%. s Sleep becoame the activity that took up the most time, at 35%. The amount of time devoted to leisure activities also increased significantly, rising to 29% - —more than double the figure for 1958. TIn addition, travel time also increased, but only slightly, from 10% to 12%. In conclusion Overall, working adults in this country spendt significantly less time working in 2008 compared to 1958. They spenallocated more time ton sleeping and leisure activities. T, while there was only a small increase in the time spent on travel.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the task by summarizing the main features of the pie charts and making relevant comparisons between 1958 and 2008. Key strengths include a clear identification of significant changes and appropriate vocabulary usage. However, critical areas for improvement include enhancing the use of cohesive devices to better link ideas and providing a clearer overview of overall trends. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving transitions between points, and refining the overview paragraph for clarity. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include varying vocabulary to reduce repetition and incorporating more specific data points to strengthen the analysis. The tone used is appropriate for an academic task, maintaining a formal and informative style.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is generally coherent, with a logical progression of ideas. However, the use of cohesive devices could be enhanced. For example, phrases like 'In addition' or 'Furthermore' could be used to better link the points made about the changes in activities.
7.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The writing displays a good range of grammatical structures, but there are some errors, such as 'The pie charts is showing' (should be 'The pie charts show') and 'sleep become' (should be 'sleep became'). These errors affect the overall accuracy but do not significantly impede understanding.
7.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is appropriate for the task, with terms like 'proportion', 'significant changes', and 'dramatically' demonstrating a good range. However, there are some repetitive phrases, such as 'time spent', which could be varied for better lexical richness.
7.5
Task Achievement
The response addresses the task by summarizing the main features of the pie charts and making relevant comparisons between 1958 and 2008. However, it could be improved by providing more specific data points and a clearer overview of the overall trends, such as the total percentage changes for each activity.
7.5

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