You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The table below shows the production of milk annually in four countries in 1990, 2000 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.
Sample Essay with Corrections
Expert Feedback
The essay effectively summarizes the main features of the table and makes relevant comparisons, demonstrating a clear understanding of the task. Key strengths include a logical structure and the inclusion of specific data points. However, critical areas for improvement include enhancing the clarity of transitions between years and improving grammatical accuracy. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving coherence with better transitions, and refining vocabulary for clarity. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include incorporating specific percentage increases to highlight trends more effectively and varying the vocabulary further to avoid repetition. The tone used is appropriate for an academic context, maintaining a formal and informative style.
Detailed Scores
What this means:
The essay has a logical structure, but the flow between ideas could be improved. Some sentences feel abrupt, and the use of cohesive devices is limited. For instance, phrases like 'over the next 10 years' could be better linked to the previous sentence for smoother transitions. Using more varied cohesive devices would enhance the overall coherence.
How to improve:
- Use a clear paragraph structure
- Connect ideas with appropriate linking words
- Maintain logical progression
- Use referencing effectively
What this means:
The writing demonstrates a basic range of grammatical structures, but there are several errors, such as 'the milk production increased all countries' (should be 'increased in all countries') and 'the increase milk production' (should be 'increased milk production'). These errors affect clarity. To improve, the writer should focus on grammatical accuracy and vary sentence structures.
How to improve:
- Use complex sentence structures
- Maintain grammatical accuracy
- Use a variety of sentence patterns
- Check for common grammar errors
What this means:
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are instances of repetition, such as 'milk production' and 'country.' Additionally, some phrases are awkward, such as 'producing the most milk at' and 'lower amount of milk comparing to.' To improve, the writer could incorporate synonyms and more varied expressions to enhance lexical diversity.
How to improve:
- Use a wider range of vocabulary
- Demonstrate awareness of collocations
- Avoid word repetition
- Use more sophisticated vocabulary accurately
What this means:
The response addresses the task by summarizing the main features of the table and making relevant comparisons. However, it lacks some clarity in presenting the data, particularly in the transitions between years. To improve, the writer could provide clearer comparisons and trends, such as specific percentage increases or more detailed observations about the changes in production.
How to improve:
- Address all parts of the task fully
- Support ideas with specific examples
- Develop each point thoroughly
- Stay relevant to the topic
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