You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. Write a letter to a pen friend you haven't written to in a while. In your letter: Apologize for not writing sooner Describe your typical daily routine Invite your friend to visit you Write at least 150 words.
Sample Essay with Corrections
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The letter demonstrates a clear attempt to address the prompt by apologizing for the delay, describing a daily routine, and inviting the friend to visit. Key strengths of the essay include a logical structure and a friendly tone that is appropriate for a personal letter. The writer successfully conveys their daily activities and expresses a desire for their friend to visit, which adds a personal touch. Critical areas for improvement include enhancing the depth of the daily routine description and improving grammatical accuracy. The original letter contained several grammatical errors and awkward phrases that detracted from clarity. The revised version corrects these issues, ensuring proper verb forms and subject-verb agreement. Structural changes made include improving transitions between paragraphs and adding cohesive devices to enhance flow. For example, the phrase 'Let me tell you about it' serves as a smoother transition into the description of the daily routine. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include adding more personal reflections or feelings about the daily routine to engage the reader further. Additionally, varying the vocabulary used could enhance the overall richness of the letter. Overall, the tone used is appropriate for a personal letter, maintaining a friendly and inviting demeanor throughout.
Detailed Scores
What this means:
The letter has a basic structure and follows a logical sequence, but the transitions between ideas are somewhat abrupt. For example, the shift from the daily routine to the invitation could be smoother. Using cohesive devices such as 'Additionally' or 'Furthermore' could improve the flow. Overall, while the ideas are connected, the coherence could be enhanced.
How to improve:
- Use a clear paragraph structure
- Connect ideas with appropriate linking words
- Maintain logical progression
- Use referencing effectively
What this means:
The letter contains several grammatical errors, including incorrect verb forms ('not written you back more soon,' 'I been very busy'), missing articles ('the shower'), and issues with subject-verb agreement ('I would like for you to coming visit'). While the meaning is generally clear, these errors detract from the overall quality. To improve, the writer should focus on using correct verb tenses and ensuring subject-verb agreement.
How to improve:
- Use complex sentence structures
- Maintain grammatical accuracy
- Use a variety of sentence patterns
- Check for common grammar errors
What this means:
The vocabulary used is quite basic and repetitive, with phrases like 'go shopping mall' and 'watch television show' lacking variety. There are also some awkward expressions, such as 'I would like for you to coming visit soon.' To improve, the writer could incorporate a wider range of vocabulary and more idiomatic expressions, such as 'I would love for you to come and visit soon.'
How to improve:
- Use a wider range of vocabulary
- Demonstrate awareness of collocations
- Avoid word repetition
- Use more sophisticated vocabulary accurately
What this means:
The letter addresses the prompt by apologizing for the delay, describing a daily routine, and inviting the friend to visit. However, the response lacks depth in the description of the daily routine and could benefit from more detail and personal touches to enhance engagement. For improvement, the writer could elaborate on specific activities or feelings associated with their routine.
How to improve:
- Address all parts of the task fully
- Support ideas with specific examples
- Develop each point thoroughly
- Stay relevant to the topic
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