You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Many different factors can affect an employee's work performance, both positively and negatively. Discuss some of the key factors that influence how well someone performs their job. Include relevant examples from your own experience. Write at least 250 words.

Part 1 (Academic)
5.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

Employees work performance is affected by many factors. Some factors are positive and help employees to perform their jobs better. Other factors can behave a negative impact and make it difficult for employees to do their work effectively. In this essay i, I will discuss about a few keys factors that influence work performance, with examples ofrom my own experiaence. One important factor is motivastion. When an employee feels motivated, they will naturally work harder and be more productive. Companies can motivate workers by giving rewards like bonuses or promotion opportunityies. I have seen this in my current job. My manager always praises employees who does an outstanding job. It makes us feel valuesd and inspires us to continue working hard. On the other hand, a lack of motivation can cause people to become lazy or careless in theire duties. Another factor is the work environment. Employees spend most of they'reir day at the workplace, so it is important for the environment to be comfortable and conduscive. This includes things like proper lightings, comfortable seatings, and a low noise level. In my previous job, the office was always very crouwded and noisy. It was difficult to concentrate on tasks. Many people complained about headakches and fatigue. Eventually, the company renovated the office to create more space and improved the lightings. We noticed a big differentce in productivity afterwards. Finally, personal livfe also plays a role in work performeance. When employees have a stable and happy personal life, they can focus better on their job responsibilities. However, if someone is experiaencing stress or problems at home, it can distract them at work. I remember a coworker who was going thruough a divorce. She often came to the office looking tired and struggled to meet deadlines. The company gave her some time off to deal with the situastion. After a few weeks, she came back feeling refreshed, and her work improved significantly. In conclusion, employee work performance areis influenced by various factors such as motivation, work environment, and personal livfe. By understanding thisese factors, companies can create a better workplace and help employees reach they'reir full potential. Of course, every situastion is differaent, and it is important to tailor the approach for each individuale employee.
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Expert Feedback

The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the task, discussing key factors that influence employee performance. Key strengths include a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, as well as relevant examples from personal experience. However, critical areas for improvement include addressing spelling and grammatical errors, enhancing coherence with better transitions, and providing more depth in the discussion of each factor. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving spelling, and refining the flow of ideas with better transitions. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include expanding on specific examples of how each factor impacts performance and using a wider range of vocabulary. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and informative style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is generally coherent, with a logical structure that includes an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and transitions between ideas could be smoother. For instance, using phrases like 'Furthermore' or 'In addition' could enhance the flow of the essay. Improving the linking of ideas would strengthen coherence.
6.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay demonstrates a basic range of grammatical structures, but there are numerous grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues and incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'employee work performance are influence'). These errors affect clarity and accuracy. To improve, the writer should review grammar rules and practice constructing more complex sentences with correct subject-verb agreement.
5.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is adequate but contains several spelling errors (e.g., 'motivasion', 'dificult', 'crouded') and some repetitive phrases (e.g., 'work performance', 'employee'). While there are attempts to use varied vocabulary, the errors detract from the overall effectiveness. To improve, the writer should focus on spelling accuracy and expanding their vocabulary range.
5.5
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the task by discussing key factors that influence employee performance, such as motivation, work environment, and personal life. However, the response lacks depth in some areas and could benefit from more specific examples and clearer connections between ideas. To improve, the writer could elaborate on how these factors specifically impact performance with more detailed examples.
6.0

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