You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. Your local community is planning to build a new cycle path along a scenic river route. The council has asked for feedback from residents on this proposal. Write a letter to the council. In your letter: Describe how often you currently ride a bicycle, and for what purposes Discuss what you think the benefits of a new cycle path would be for the community Suggest any concerns or issues that should be considered before building the path Write at least 150 words.

Part 1 (General)
5.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

Dear Council, I am writing forto talk about the new cycle way. I hasve a bicycle wthat I ride for going twto work sometimes and also for fun and exercise on weekends. I think it is a healthy mode of transportation, and don't makit does not cause pollution. N The new cycle way will havinge many benefitteds for the community. First, it encourages peoples to ride bicycles more often, which is improves health and makes lessreduces the number of cars on the road. Also,dditionally, the scenic river is a beautiful place and it letthat allows people to enjoy nature whilen they ride. It will also attract tourists to visit our town, which is good for local business. But you should thinking aboutes. However, you should consider some issues first. Need to make surIt is essential to ensure that the cycle way is safe, has good lighting at night, and that the local authority come oftenmaintains it regularly to keep it clean. AIt is also important to no cutnot to cut down trees or disturb wildlife when build it. Finally,during its construction. Finally, the cycle way should be accessible for everyone, haveincluding ramps for people with mobileity difficulties to use it. Thank you for listening to my opinion. I believe the new cycle path will be a great addition to our community if you consider this these poingts. Your Fs faithfully, [Name]
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Expert Feedback

The revised letter demonstrates several key strengths, including a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The writer effectively addresses the task requirements by discussing personal cycling habits, the benefits of the new cycle way, and potential concerns. However, there are critical areas for improvement. The vocabulary has been enhanced slightly, but it still lacks variety and sophistication. The writer should aim to incorporate a wider range of expressions related to cycling and community benefits. Additionally, while grammatical errors have been addressed, further attention to subject-verb agreement and sentence structure is necessary for a more polished piece. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving coherence with better linking phrases, and enhancing clarity in the benefits and concerns sections. For further improvements, the writer could elaborate on specific examples of how the cycle path would benefit the community and provide more detailed safety concerns. The tone used is appropriate for a formal letter, maintaining respect and clarity throughout the communication.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The letter has a basic structure with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. However, the flow of ideas could be improved with better linking phrases and transitions. For example, using phrases like 'In addition' or 'Furthermore' could enhance the connection between ideas. The organization of thoughts is somewhat disjointed, which affects overall coherence.
5.5
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The letter contains several grammatical errors, such as 'I has bicycle' instead of 'I have a bicycle' and 'encourage peoples' instead of 'encourages people.' There are also issues with verb forms and sentence structure. While the meaning is generally clear, these errors detract from the overall quality. To improve, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement and sentence construction.
5.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate but lacks variety and sophistication. There are some repetitive phrases, such as 'cycle way' and 'benefit,' which could be replaced with synonyms or more varied expressions. To improve, the writer could incorporate a wider range of vocabulary related to cycling and community benefits.
5.0
Task Achievement
The letter addresses the task requirements by describing the writer's current cycling habits, discussing the benefits of a new cycle path, and suggesting concerns. However, the response lacks some clarity and detail in the benefits and concerns sections. For improvement, the writer could provide more specific examples of how the cycle path would benefit the community and elaborate on the safety concerns.
6.0

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