You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Some experts believe that when a country is already rich, any additional increase in economic wealth does not make its citizens any more satisfied. To what extent do you agree or disagree? You should write at least 250 words.

Part 2
6.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

Nowadays, there are some opinions which is say that in rich countryies, making the economical wealth biggerlarger does not bring more satisfaction to the people of the country. I am partially in agreement with this point. Firstly, in a developed country, most of people already hasve a good life. They can afford to buy what they need and want, such as food, clothes, houses, and cars. They don't have to worry about basic needs, so they feel satisfyied with their lifeves. If the economicy of the country become mores better, it might not eaffect their lifeves very much, because they already hasve enough money to live comfortably. However, I think that an increase in economic wealth can still make citizens more satisfied in some ways. For example, if the country becomes richer, the government can invest more money in public services like healthcare and education. This can improve the quality of life for every peoplone, especially for poor people who cannot afford private healthcare and education. In addition, a strong economy can create more job opportunityies and higher salaries, which can give people more financial security and allow them to afford more luxury items and travel. This can lead to greater satisfaction and happierness for many people. Moreover, a country with a strong economy is often seemn as a leader on the global stage, which can be a source of pride for its citizens. People may feel more satisfied and confident knowing that their country is successful and respected by other nations. In conclusion, while I agree that simply increasing economic wealth may not automatically lead to greater satisfaction for all citizens in an already rich country, I believe that it can still have a positive impact on people's quality of life and overall sense of well-being in several ways. A strong economy can improve access to education and healthcare, create job opportunities, and boost national pride.
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Expert Feedback

The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic and presents a balanced view on the relationship between economic wealth and citizen satisfaction. Key strengths include the ability to address both sides of the argument and provide relevant examples to support the points made. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, particularly with subject-verb agreement and word choice, as well as enhancing coherence through smoother transitions between ideas. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving vocabulary, and ensuring proper paragraph structure. Further improvements could involve incorporating more specific examples to strengthen arguments and varying vocabulary to avoid repetition. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and objective stance throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is generally coherent, with a logical flow of ideas. However, some transitions between ideas could be smoother. For instance, the shift from discussing individual satisfaction to national pride could benefit from clearer linking phrases. Using more cohesive devices would enhance the overall clarity.
6.5
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, but there are several grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement ('most of people already has' should be 'most people already have') and incorrect verb forms ('become more better' should be 'become better'). While these errors do not significantly impede understanding, they do detract from the overall accuracy.
6.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is appropriate for the task, but there are instances of repetition (e.g., 'economic wealth', 'satisfied', 'people') that could be varied. Additionally, some word choices are awkward or incorrect, such as 'economical wealth bigger' and 'making the economical wealth bigger'. A wider range of vocabulary and more precise word choices would improve this score.
6.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both sides of the argument regarding economic wealth and citizen satisfaction. It presents a clear position, stating partial agreement, and develops main ideas with relevant examples. However, the argument could be strengthened with more specific examples and a clearer conclusion that reiterates the main points.
7.0

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