You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Some people say free time activities for children should be organized by parents. Others say that children should be free to choose what they do in their free time. Discuss both views and give your opinion. You should write at least 250 words.

Part 2
7.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

On the one hand, there are some benefits if parents organize what their childrens do in theire free time. First of all, parents have more experience in life and know better what is good for them. For example, they can choose activities that will help them develop important skills such as teamwork, discipline, and time management. Additionally, when parents are involved in planning their children's free time, they can ensure that they are engaged in safe and healthy activities, rather than wasting time on unproductive or even dangerous pursuits. On the other hand, allowing children to choose their own free timleisure activities can also be beneficial. When children have the freedom to pursue their own interests, they are more likely to be motivated and engaged in what they are doing. This can lead to greater enjoyment and fulfillment, as well as the development of important life skills such as independence and decision-making. Moreover, giving children the opportunity to explore different activities can help them discover new passions and talents that they may not have otherwise pursued. In my opinion, I believe that a balanced approach is best. Parents should provide guidance and support to their children in choosing free timleisure activities, but also allow them some freedom to pursue their own interests. Parents can suggest activities that they believe will be beneficial for their children's development, but ultimately let the children decide what they want to do. This way, children can learn important life skills while also having the opportunity to explore their own passions and interests. In conclusion, while there are benefits to both parent-organized and child-chosen free timleisure activities, I believe that a balanced approach is ideal. By providing guidance and support while also allowing for some freedom of choice, parents can help their children develop important skills and discover new interests, while also ensuring that they are engaged in safe and healthy activities.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the task prompt by discussing both views regarding children's free time activities and providing a clear opinion. Key strengths include relevant arguments supported by examples, such as the benefits of parental organization and the importance of children's independence. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, particularly with subject-verb agreement and verb forms, as well as enhancing lexical variety to avoid repetition. Structural changes made include correcting spelling errors, improving grammatical accuracy, and refining transitions between paragraphs. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include varying sentence structures to enhance sophistication and ensuring more concise conclusions. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and objective stance throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is generally well-organized, with a logical flow of ideas. Each paragraph presents a distinct viewpoint, and the use of cohesive devices is appropriate. However, some transitions could be smoother, and the overall structure could benefit from clearer topic sentences to guide the reader through the argumentation.
7.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, but there are several grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement ('parents are involve' should be 'parents are involved') and incorrect verb forms ('engage' should be 'engaged'). These errors affect the overall clarity and accuracy of the writing. More complex sentence structures could also be employed to enhance the sophistication of the writing.
6.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is appropriate and varied, with phrases like 'important skills,' 'motivation,' and 'independence.' However, there are some repetitive phrases, such as 'free time activities,' which could be replaced with synonyms to enhance lexical variety. Additionally, minor spelling errors, such as 'childrens' (should be 'children's') and 'there' (should be 'their'), detract from the overall quality.
7.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the task prompt effectively by discussing both views regarding children's free time activities and providing a clear opinion. The arguments presented are relevant and supported by examples, such as the benefits of parental organization and the importance of children's independence. However, the conclusion could be more concise and impactful to enhance clarity.
7.5

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