You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Some people think that it is better to choose a job with high salary, while others think that it is better to choose a job that you love. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Write at least 250 words.

Part 1 (General)
7.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

These days, many people have different views on what is important when selecting a job. Some people believe that it is better to choose thea job which hasthat offers a high salary. However, others think that it is more important to do a job that you love doing. In my oppinion, I thinkbelieve both salary and enjoyment are important factors when choosing a job. On the one hand, many people choose a job based on the salary it offers. They believe that money is the most inmportant thing in life, and a high salary-paying job can provide them with financial security and the ability to afford luxury items. For example, if someone chooses to be a doctor or lawyer, they can earn a lot of money and live a comfortable life. They can buy a big house, a fancy car, and go on expensive vacations. Money can also provide a sense of achievement and status in society. When someone has a high-paying job, they may feel proud and successful. However, on the other hand On the contrary, some people argue that it is better to choose a job that you are passionate about. They believe that if you love what you do, you will be more motivated and satisfied with your work. For instantce, if someone has a passion for teaching, they may choose to be a teacher even though the salary is not very high. They will find joy and fulfillment in helping students learn and grow. They may also feel that their work is meaningful and contributes to society in a positive wapositively to society. Furthermore, when you enjoy your job, you may be less likely to experience stress and burnout. In conclusion, I believe that both salary and personal interest are important considerations when choosing a job. While a high salary can provide financial security and status, it is also importantcrucial to find a job that you are passionate about. Ultimately, the best job is one that balances both factors and allows you to live a fulfilling and satisfying life.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the task by discussing both views on job selection and providing a clear opinion. Key strengths include a clear structure with distinct paragraphs for each viewpoint and a relevant conclusion. However, critical areas for improvement include enhancing the introduction to be more engaging and summarizing key points more effectively in the conclusion. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving transitions between ideas, and varying vocabulary to avoid repetition. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include incorporating specific examples or statistics to support arguments and enhancing the overall engagement of the introduction. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and objective style.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is generally well-organized, with clear paragraphs for each viewpoint. However, some transitions between ideas could be smoother. For instance, using phrases like 'On the contrary' or 'In addition' could enhance the flow. Improving the use of cohesive devices would strengthen coherence.
7.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, but there are several grammatical errors, such as 'choose a job base on' (should be 'based on') and 'if someone choose' (should be 'chooses'). These errors affect clarity. To improve, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement and sentence structure.
6.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is appropriate for the topic, but there are some repetitive phrases, such as 'high salary' and 'job that you love.' Additionally, there are spelling errors like 'opinion' and 'important.' To improve, the writer should aim for more varied vocabulary and ensure correct spelling.
6.5
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the task by discussing both views on job selection and provides a clear opinion. However, the introduction could be more engaging, and the conclusion could summarize the key points more effectively. To improve, the writer could include more specific examples or statistics to support their arguments.
7.5

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