You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: CCTV Closed circuit television (CCTV) is increasingly used to monitor public spaces. Some people feel safer as a result, while others believe that it invades privacy. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

Part 1 (Academic)
6.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

Nowadays, CCTV cameras hasve become more prevalent in public spaces. There is a debates on whether ithis is a good or bad thing. Some people argue that CCTV makes them feel more safe. Osafer, while others believe that CCTV is invades privacy and should not be used. I believe that the use of CCTV has both positive aspect and negative aspects. On one hand, having CCTV in public can increase security. If crimes happensoccur, the video footage can help identify the criminals. This can make citizens feel more saferecure when they are out in public, especially at night. CCTV also haves a preventive effect. I; if criminals know they may be recorded on camera, they may be less likely forto committing crimes in the first place. In this way, CCTV can reduce crime rates and improved public safety overall. On the other hand, the widespread use of CCTV can feel like an invasion of privacy to some people. They may feels uncomfortable knowing that their every moves is being recorded when they are in public spaces. There isare also concerns about who is watching the CCTV footage and what is done with the recordings. If footages falls into the wrong hands, it could be used for inappropriate purposes like stalking or blackmail. Therefore, there needs to be strict regulations on the use of CCTV to prevent abuse and protect people's privacy. In my opinions, the benefits of CCTV outweigh the drawbacks. I think the use of CCTV in public spaces is justified because the increased safety and security isare more important than the privacy concerns in most cases. However, I believe there should be clear rules and limits on where CCTV can be placed. For example, it should not be allowed in very private spaces like public bathrooms or changing rooms. The footages should also be properly secured and only accessed by authorized personnel for legitimate reasons. With these safeguards in place, I believe CCTV can play a positive role in society. In conclusion, while the use of CCTV is controversial, I think it has more benefits than drawbacks. It can make public spaces more safer by deterring and solving crime. As long as there isare proper regulations to prevent misuse, I believe CCTV is a valuable tool for law enforcement and public safety.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the task by discussing both views on CCTV and providing a clear opinion. Key strengths include a clear structure and logical flow of ideas. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, particularly with subject-verb agreement and verb forms, as well as the need for more varied vocabulary to avoid repetition. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, enhancing transitions between paragraphs, and ensuring proper subject-verb agreement. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include incorporating specific examples or statistics to strengthen arguments and further diversifying vocabulary. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and objective stance throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is generally coherent, with a logical flow of ideas. However, some transitions between points could be smoother. For example, the shift from discussing the benefits of CCTV to the concerns about privacy could be better linked with transitional phrases to enhance the overall cohesion.
6.5
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay demonstrates a basic range of grammatical structures, but there are several errors that affect clarity, such as subject-verb agreement ('CCTV cameras has') and incorrect verb forms ('is invade privacy'). While the meaning is generally clear, these errors detract from the overall quality. More complex sentence structures and careful proofreading could enhance grammatical accuracy.
6.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is adequate but somewhat repetitive, with terms like 'CCTV' and 'public spaces' appearing frequently. There are also some inaccuracies, such as 'CCTV cameras has' instead of 'CCTV cameras have.' To improve, the writer could incorporate a wider range of vocabulary and synonyms to avoid repetition and enhance sophistication.
6.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the task by discussing both views on CCTV and providing a clear opinion. However, it could be improved by offering more specific examples and a more developed argument. For instance, citing specific studies or statistics on crime rates related to CCTV usage would strengthen the argument.
7.0

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