You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Diwali Write at least 250 words.

Part 1 (Academic)
5.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

Diwali is a festival of lights which celebrated by Hindu peoples all around the worlds. It takes place in the autumn season, usually in oOctober or nNovember. The celebrastion lasts for 5five days and is considered one of the most importeant festivals in Hinduism. On Diwali, people decoreate their homes with diyas, which isare small clay lamps. They are filled with oil and hasve a cotton wick whichthat is lit. Diyas are placed all around the house, in windows, doors, and on roofs. People also make rangoli, which isconsists of colorful designs made with powder or petals on the floor. Rangoli is believed to bring good luck. Another tradistion of Diwali is giving sweets and gifts to family and friends. Common sweets include laddoo, barfi, and kaju katli, which is made from cashews. Gifts are usually new clothes, jewellery, or housewarehold items. Families visits each other's houses and exchange sweets and gifts as a symbol of love and good wishes. On Furthermore, the act of sharing these treats strengthens familial bonds and fosters community spirit. On the night of Diwali, people light firecrackers, which fill the sky with light and sound. ItThis is done as part of the celebrastion and to drive away evil spirits. However, firecrackers hasve become controvertsial in recent years doue to the noise and air pollustion they create. Some cityies hasve banned firecrackers to address this ishsue. In conculusion, Diwali is a very significancet festival for Hindus worldwide. It is a time of celebrastion, sharing, and spreading joy. While some tradistions may change over time, the spirit of Diwali remains the same - to triumf of lightph over darkness, good over evil, and knowledges over ignoransce.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively outlines the significance and traditions of Diwali, demonstrating a clear understanding of the festival. Key strengths include a structured approach with distinct paragraphs that cover various aspects of the celebration. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, vocabulary range, and smoother transitions between ideas. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, enhancing coherence with linking phrases, and improving the overall flow of the writing. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include providing more specific details about the festival's history or regional variations, as well as incorporating a wider range of vocabulary to express ideas more precisely. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and informative style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is organized into paragraphs that address different aspects of Diwali, which aids in coherence. However, the transitions between ideas could be smoother, and some sentences feel disjointed. For example, the transition from discussing rangoli to sweets could be improved with a linking phrase. Using more cohesive devices would enhance the flow of the writing.
5.5
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('Hindu peoples' should be 'Hindus'), incorrect verb forms ('has' instead of 'have'), and spelling mistakes ('celebrasion', 'controvertial', 'pollusion'). These errors detract from the overall clarity of the writing. To improve, the writer should focus on proofreading for grammatical accuracy and varying sentence structures.
4.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are instances of repetition and inaccuracies, such as 'decoreate' instead of 'decorate' and 'belive' instead of 'believed'. The use of terms like 'diyas' and 'rangoli' is effective, but the writer could benefit from incorporating a wider range of vocabulary to express ideas more precisely and avoid redundancy.
5.0
Task Achievement
The essay provides a general overview of Diwali, covering its significance, traditions, and celebrations. However, it lacks depth in some areas and contains several inaccuracies, such as 'Hindu peoples' instead of 'Hindus' and 'considered' instead of 'considered'. To improve, the writer could include more specific details about the festival's history or regional variations.
5.0

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